AF With A Vengeance

Unsurprisingly, my period showed up exactly on time, 11 days after my trigger. There has to be something said for predictability, at least I know when the witch should be rearing her ugly head. The first couple days I had to top up my Advil every 4 hours instead of every 8+ like I usually would, those cramps break through surprisingly quickly. A couple days in they're not awful, uncomfortable yes, but I'm good with just a couple Advil each day.

I think the toughest part has been waiting with nothing to do. I've taken the supplements, done the injections, done the retrievals, and now all I can do is wait and wait for my test results to come back. There's absolutely nothing I can do to help or speed up the process which is a very unusual position for me to find myself in. I'm not even sure if they've started the testing yet since I haven't heard back from the financial person yet, I'll probably give both her and the lab a call tomorrow to ask for an update.

(And wait....and wait...and wait...)

Once I stop bleeding like a dying person and feel halfway normal again, my plan is to hit the gym hard and try to take off some of this IVF weight. I feel like I've been packing on inches by the handful and I'd really like to get some of it off before I get pregnant. I already know I won't be allowed to gain a ton of weight, not that I really expect to gain a ton anyway, but it would be nice to start at a more normal point for me instead of this far ahead. Of course, starting a diet/exercise plan right before Thanksgiving is probably not the smartest thing I've ever done, but I don't have a lot of time and I need to get rid of this IVF fluid belly so I have room for a baby in there!

Gyming It

Back in March, E and I decided that it was about time I joined back up with the gym. I feel like the gym is one of those things you really have to be ready to commit to and actually want to go to or you never will. I used to go religiously almost 10 years ago and even had a personal trainer I met with twice a week. I was on a strict no carb diet and was at my absolute trimmest, but I only went for about two years until I left for college. Then I had no time for anything lol.

Now, I have both the time and the motivation and I'm hoping to get healthier and possibly trimmer in the long run. I've been going six days a week, Monday through Saturday, and taking a mixture of Body Works, a body sculpting class, and Zumba.

I wish my gym looked like this. It definitely doesn't.

Zumba has turned out to be a great deal more fun than I was expecting. I knew it was popular, but for some reason I wasn't sure if I'd like it. I've now taken it with a handful of different instructors, and a good teacher makes all the difference. My favorite instructor has a more dance oriented style that feels really hip and fun,  I love taking her class twice a week. I take classes with another instructor as well, but I am not as big a fan of her style and music choice. You can dance to pretty much anything with a good beat, but it helps if you like what you're dancing to. It's basically a crapton of cardio and strength training in the form of squats, many many squats.

The Bodyworks class is more of a necessity than the Zumba class. It also involves a great deal of cardio, but adds weight lifting and other things in as well.  Squats, lunges, bicycling, push ups, sit ups, running, steps etc. I always feel like my ass has been kicked after that class, but it is paying off. In the beginning I could manage one girly push up and used the 2.5lb weights with great difficulty. That doesn't sound like a lot, but believe me, when you have to do a set of 300, it Hurts. I can now manage about 50 girly push ups in the middle of the work out, and recently did an entire class with 5lb weights. I thought my arms might fall off, but I was able to get it done :)

This is a tiny fraction of one of my classes, doing one of our songs after class. 

During class, that room is PACKED.

My one hang up for working out is that I haven't stepped on a scale yet and have no intention of doing so any time soon. I really want working out to be something I do regardless of what the scale says, and if I make it about the numbers I feel like I'll get disappointed and lose my motivation. Right now, that motivation is being healthy, having fun, and getting into better shape for having a baby. I don't need numbers on a scale for that :)

New Years 2013

I've been meaning to post something commemorating the New Year, but I've been too busy enjoying it to formulate something coherent. 2013 is looking so exciting, especially for our good friends, who have new babies coming, new apartments, and all sorts of exciting changes. Hopefully 2013 will hold exciting things for E and I as well, a new job would be especially welcome for me.

Thus far, our New Years resolutions are to...

• Get healthy! We're going to eventually try and start up our Insanity program a second time, hopefully with better results for me this time. In the meantime, we need to get back in shape so we can actually do the Insanity work outs.
• Continue not drinking soda, it was my New Years resolution last year and I managed to stick to it! I generally replace it with iced tea or water, which doesn't feel like a chore since I love iced tea.
• Find a job? Maybe? Hopefully? Please?
• Work on our family and relationship. I feel like we really found our rhythm this past year as a married couple and I want to continue building and strengthening (and maybe expanding?) our little family.
• Continue setting strict monthly savings goals to try and build up our nest egg for a family/house/life
• Have an even better year than last year was :)

Right now our new get healthy plan includes two hikes a week at a nearby canyon,  little treadmill sessions on some of the other days, a shake or eggs for breakfast, and something healthy for lunch. I'm not sure if we'll be able to stick to it long term, especially with E working so much, but it's not too ambitious so I feel pretty good about it.

Milou having a great time in a big grassy field halfway through our walk

This week we've had two lovely canyon walks with the pups and one session on the treadmill, since we started a little late. I'm really not a fan of our treadmill since it's old and tends to overheat/die/stop randomly in the middle of work outs, but I'm hoping to keep it up anyway.

Tintin joined us for our second hike and loved it just as much as Milou

I'm really looking forward to what this year has in store for us. I'm crossing my fingers and toes, squeezing my eyes tight and jumping in to 2013, planning and wishing and hoping for good things.

Happy New Year

Insanity: Day 40 To The Max

After that lovely, mostly pain free recovery week, E and I have finally found out what it really means to do the Insanity work out. Holy balls, the pain! Each max work out is an hour long and involves grueling moves that you shouldn't be doing with any normal human body. They have level 3 drills, yes, LEVEL 3, which feel roughly like 1000 push ups per work out. You supposedly burn over 1000 calories per work out and let me tell you, you feel every single one.

In better news, I think the work out may finally be starting to make a visible difference! You can really see it on E who is losing any semblance of his "love handles" and whose stomach is looking much more flat and washboard-y.  I definitely still have both my love handles and belly, but E is insistent that I'm toning a bit even if neither of us are really losing weight yet. I wish it was a little more visible since we're going to Hawaii so soon but I'll take what I can get for now!

Insanity: Recovery Week

I am so very glad to finally be in the recovery week! The first month of Insanity was intense and my body is so in need of a break. After just one recovery work out, it's pretty obvious that we probably should have done the recovery disc for a couple weeks before actually doing Insanity. It's supposed to be a low key, don't stress yourself work out and it still makes me sweat and has things I can't do. They actually consider level one drills to be a recovery exercise and I can't successfully complete even one!

(Source)

For those who don't know, level one drills involve dropping down to plank position, doing four push ups, running in plank position 8 times, jumping your legs in, jumping up with arms raised, and repeat. Since I can't do push ups, this exercise is brutal and had I known it was considered "recovery" I would have approached this whole thing differently.  The routine also has a lot of core and balance work (hence the name core cardio and balance lol) which is the kind of stuff that hurts the next day. Power squats, balancing on one leg while lifting and flailing the other, lots of spinny and lifting arm work and such.

I'm thinking that two weeks of this work out would, gentle and easy as it should be, work us up to the full Insanity. Instead, we're a month in, my plantar faciatis is fully inflamed in both feet, and my dumb ass went and slipped in the shower and smacked my head against our little portable heater.  It's still a big sore knot 3 days later and hurts like crazy when I bounce around doing Insanity. It literally feels like I'm pounding on the bruise on my head,  shoulder, and leg, while aggravating my feet as usual. E is pretty sure I should be doing Insanity and asks me at the beginning of each work out if I want to run on the treadmill instead. Since I've committed to this crap, the answer is always no.

(Source)

What's even worse,  I blabbed to my mother about my embarrassing slip, hoping for a little sympathy and humor, and instead she told me I must have slipped because I'm too fat. Because, you know, only old people and fat people slip on wet tile. It couldn't have been because E had showered and left the slick tile floor wet, and I was rushing to get in and out because my burgers were on the grill. No. I must have slipped because I'm fat. Right.

So to recap: Month one of Insanity is complete! The recovery work out is still hard. My feet continue to suck. I slipped in the shower because I'm fat. Even after a month of Insanity. According to my loving mother. Right.

Insanity: Day 23

Today was day 23 and E and I are still getting our rears kicked by Insanity. I feel like our endurance has increased, E's more so than mine, but it's still tough to complete each work out without wanting to die. Thankfully we get a recovery week next week where we'll be doing a gentler work out that I'm very much looking forward to.

(Source)

My biggest hurdles are probably the push ups and the jumping, which comprises at least 50% of Insanity. Even at my most physically fit, push ups have never been my strong suit and Insanity calls for standard push ups, moving push ups, push up jacks, v push ups, and weird knees bent, crunched up push ups. I've been trying to substitute them with girly push ups, push ups using a piece of furniture, or holding a high plank position while E bobs up and down all glisteny and manly. 

The jumping isn't actually hard to do, but I've got pretty bad plantar fasciitis and usually wear orthotics in all my shoes. I've been experimenting with different shoe/orthotic combinations for working out and somewhere along the way picked the wrong pair of shoes for a couple days. Now my muscles and tendons are all inflamed and ticked off and every landing feels like I'm jamming steel stakes into my arches. It hasn't been fun and I can't stop the program to give my feet a rest.  I'm hoping they get adjusted on their own over the recovery week or E is going to keep giving me grief over my crappy performance.

Insanity: Day 11

Woo, 11 days down only a billion more to go! The work outs are still intense although I'd like to think that I'm pushing through them a little better. I still want to die about two minutes into the warm up, but my butt kicks are more butt kicky and my high knees are starting to get higher than my ankles, although they're not quite above my hips where they should be. I'm kind of thinking that as soon as I adjust to these work outs in the next couple weeks (ie getting through without taking too many unscheduled collapses breaks) that the work out will shift into high gear and we'll be dying all over again.

Thus far, E and I have been working out religiously in our living room, often barefoot on the wood floor, and it's starting to become pretty uncomfortable. We're tentatively committing to Insanity for at least another 60 days after this round, maybe even 120 days, so I went out today and bought us some proper shoes and work out mats. We are supposed to be wearing "good" cross trainers but since I'm not sure how many cycles we'll do and didn't want spend $200, I settled on some comfortable but inexpensive New Balances that should do the trick. 

Hopefully these will make my feet hurt less, though they're not really Cross Trainers

E's Cross Trainers, hopefully they fit!

I also got one giant single person exercise mat to practice with so we can see if we like it before buying another. We do a lot of jumping on the ground to do push ups and exercises on our hands and knees and I think it'll be more comfortable than the wood floor. It might even be big enough for us to both use, but I doubt it since we can't be too close together while working out.

Swimsuits For The Busty

With Hawaii coming up in just six weeks, I need a bathing suit that I'll be able to wear without being completely embarrassed of myself. Fortunately (or unfortunately? No bathing suit means no wearing it!) I just picked up a new bathing suit a month ago when I saw it on super sale on Zulily.

From Modcloth: Super cute suit, flattering on almost everyone but I'm afraid the bust is too small

It's nearly impossible to find a good swimsuit when you have a generous bust, and with 36J's there are only a couple brands that I can pick from. The last real swimsuit I owned was a Panache tankini that was supportive but got too small. It was also crazy expensive from a specialty boutique so when it didn't fit anymore I was disinclined to replace it. Thus, the last time I went swimming I wore a bra with a rash guard and swimsuit bottoms.

Panache is a great brand for large cup bras and swimsuits, so when I saw them on sale I went for it and bought their Black and Fuchsia Grace Full-Fit One-Piece, which is supposed to be a figure flattering black suit with a super supportive built in bra and a pop of color. I haven't actually tried it on since it came in (it was non-returnable anyway), but I'm definitely going to have to to make sure it fits and looks good before I take it on the trip.  Maybe I'll take some before and after photos to motivate myself through Insanity.

ETA: I tried it on, and took that before photo. Never. Again. I'm not brave enough to post it, but I have to say this Insanity had better friggin' work. I thought the tummy was going to be the worst, but it was definitely the thighs. Totally gross. I need a full body suit that covers to the ankles and wrists >_< 

The right amount of coverage

Insanity: Day 2

Oh boy are we in for some serious pain. The first day was a "Fit Test" where you keep track of how many reps you can complete of each exercise, while taking dinky little 30 second breaks. I found out that I cannot do push ups, which comprise a significant part of the work out, and thus am attempting to do them like a little girl.

Except mine look less like exercise, and more like I'm trying to hump the floor. Rawr.

We found out today that there's even more push ups, in addition to jogging, jumping jacks, basketball shoot moves, ski jumps, football feat and these horrible suicide somethings were you jog in place, do four push ups, then jump backwards and forwards while your hands are still on the floor in the push up, and repeat. E was dripping sweat and bright red by the end of the work out, and I still felt like I was flailing on the floor propositioning it for bad sex.

Side to side floor hops. I think we do these tomorrow.

I'm really hoping that I don't look this pathetic when I need to repeat this work out next week. Regardless, we're committed! 2 days down, 58 to go!

On an unrelated note, I was supposed to pay for my classes today, but since they've cut my financial aid E and I decided to drop them. This means that I need to get my act together and figure out which grad program I want to go to.  Since I have pretty much no idea and don't want to waste tens of thousands of dollars just to get a degree, I'm wondering if a hypnotist might be able to make up my mind for me...

Aloha Insanity

Apparently, out of nowhere, E and I are going on a Hawaiian vacation this year! It actually fell into place so perfectly that I'm still not convinced it's going to happen.  Plus, we essentially owe the entire trip to E's mother and his father.

Coral Reef I will hopefully be snorkeling at

E's father's family owns a timeshare on Honolulu that his father and uncle usually visit once a year. This year, his father called us up and asked if we wanted to go with him and his wife for 7 days. They have a two bedroom suite so we'd each have a room and E was actually off work that week. He said the accommodations would be covered, we'd just need to find a way to get there. While this was a wonderful offer, plane tickets were about $1200 which was just outside of waythefuckoutside of our price range.

Random Island View

Now earlier this year, E's mother had repeatedly mentioned that she wanted to go to Hawaii. When we heard from his father, we knew we'd need to call and discuss with his mom. Right off the bat, she says she has credit card miles for the plane tickets there. Score! Then she proposed that we spend a week with her and a week with his father. A few inquiries later and bam, she had booked her friend's 10 person house on Kauai for 10 days, giving us the flexibility to stay a few extra days with her, or for E's father to stay there for a couple days while we stayed on Honolulu.

Kauai Waterfall

E's father had his plane tickets all set up, so E's mom went ahead and booked seats for her and her longtime boyfriend R to go. E and I were kind of hesitant since we're still waiting to hear about E's job interview so we hung back for as long as possible until the plane was almost completely full and we had to book. Luckily, we got seats together (after some stupid seat upgrade charges. Apparently window seats and aisle seats are $40 extra??) on the same flight in as his mom so we can carpool together. Our return flight leaves at about the same time as his father's, so we should be able to get a ride to the airport with him too. I was going to book the inter-island flight but decided against it so we'd have the flexibility to change dates if we wanted.

Sunset!

With all this excitingness going on, it hit E and  I pretty hard that we are incredibly out of shape. Actually, I'm incredibly out of shape, E is looking pretty damn good since his job is really physical. It was clear that we'd need to do something, so in a moment of insanity (ha) we signed ourselves up for the insanity fitness program! We start tomorrow and I'm psyched to see if it's as hard and impossible as it looks. E wants to tone up while I would like to lose roughly a million pounds so I don't look completely pregnant in a bathing suit. I'm a little nervous since the weight loss plan calls for 1900 calories a day (what on earth will we be doing that allows you to eat 1900 calories and lose weight??) but we're determined to do at least the full 60 days.

Insanity ahhh!

We're going to need some serious fortitude to get through this, but I'm hoping it pays off so I can look like one of these people in the end, except I'm a lot chubbier than they are so I'd settle for a decently flat stomach and some trimmer thighs. A girl has got to be realistic.

This could be me! OR more realistically, E!

Wish us luck! We're really going to need it to get in shape for this trip!

A Weighty Matter

I really struggled with whether or not to post this, especially with pictures. I don't normally share my chubby pictures but in the interest of honesty and other people who might also be struggling to stay slim, I decided to go ahead and bare it all.

I've been a bigger person then average my whole life. Even born three weeks early, I was well over 7 pounds and assuming babies gain 2 or 3 pounds in the last few weeks I would have been one big kid. I doubled my birth weight quickly and was on the higher end of the growth chart throughout my childhood, usually running a couple sizes ahead of my age in height and in weight. Up until puberty I was all muscle and bone, but after 12 I started to get hips, thighs, boobs, and a belly. Since then, my genetics have been working against me to hoard every calorie I consume and stash it away in my fat cells, even when I'm eating healthy foods.