(Mama) Cloth Pads

In an incredible moment if irony, I decided the month before (hopefully) getting pregnant, while frantically packing for Cancun, that I want to officially make the switch to cloth menstrual pads. I usually use disposables but since I'm allergic to latex, I've had problems on and off with latex and chemicals in the adhesive. If they're not completely stuck down or if they shift while I'm wearing them and the adhesive touches my skin, I'm guaranteed a miserable set of hivey welts. It's awful and after last month with more welts, I'm done.  I'm hoping that with the laws of the universe, buying all of these cloth pads will mean I won't need them for quite some time...though when this little embryo sticks, I'll probably be on Endometrin for at least 12 weeks which will mean 12 straight weeks of wearing a panty liner. I should probably go order several more since I'll be using those most. 

Current Cloth Stash! I have others in the mail :)

From my cursory research, it looks like most manufacturers make cloth pads out of cotton flannel, minky, bamboo velor, cotton and bamboo terry, fleece, organic/un-dyed cotton or bamboo, zorb and PUL, a waterproof polyurethane laminate used in cloth diapers, bibs etc. They stay in place with cloth wings that connect with a snap, sometimes color coded for light, moderate and heavy. You can get everything from little 6" panty liners to thong pads to 16"+ heavy pads for overnight or postpartum use. You can even get them wingless but I'm not clear on how they stay in place. Most are an all in one construction but some brands have removable inserts that are usually held in place with two elastic straps. If you want something special, there's someone out there who can custom make it.

From left to right: 14" Earthy Mama Goods overnight pad, 9" Party in my Pants liner, 

8" Glad Rags Liner and 6" Luna Pads Liner

For me, living in a crazy hot climate, I figured cotton flannel was a better topper option than minky and I ordered most of my pads in that variety. I didn't want anything warm, nothing that might hold in the heat while I'm roasting my tush off in this 96 degree weather.  I ordered a variety from several different sellers to start and I haven't had a chance to use them yet, so I'm not sure whether my preference will be for the pads backed with fabric or fleece or those backed with PUL or Nylon etc. PUL is lightweight and waterproof so a lot of people really like it but I think that a fabric without laminate will breathe better. Thus far the PUL pads seem to be really nice and thin while the fleece ones are a little cushier.

                            All stacked up!                              Earthy Mama Goods Pads, they're technically overnight pads
                                                                                        but they're not too bulky to wear during the day as a heavy pad.

For something that no one really talks about, there are a remarkable amount of crafty ladies selling cloth pads on Etsy and their own personal websites . There are also several more commercial manufacturers, three of whom offer free pantyliners (just pay shipping) that I took advantage of: Luna Pads, Glad Rags and Party In My Pants. I think they all come out to be about $5 per pad which is a pretty good price for a liner that will last several years. I also ordered several pads from Etsy sellers EarthyMamaGoods, ErinSewSweet,  Yurt Craft, and Cozy Cloth in various lengths and absorbances and a 4 pack from the company BubuBibi.

                     My three overnight pads from Earthy Mama Goods              ErinSewSweet pad, in the mail!

The first thing you'll probably notice about these pads is that they are friggin' adorable. They come in every color, pattern and print you can imagine and they make me smile every time I see them in my drawer. I've read that they don't stain as long as you give them a soak or use a stain stick, but you could always get black or dark pads if you were worried. I'm pretty good at getting stains out of clothing as it is and I have a particular fondness for owls and foxes so I'm building up a few different varieties and brands in those prints regardless of color. And like a cloth diaper, I could probably stick the pad in the sun if I end up with stubborn stains. The second and more important point is that they are SO much more comfortable than disposable pads. They feel just like your undies against your skin, with a little cush, and while the pads with a PUL liner or backing are slightly more noticeable, they're still a million times more comfortable than disposables. I tried on each pad variety as they came in and was immediately kicking myself for not switching sooner. They feel so, so much better than that chemical filled plastic and here I've been getting hives and rashes for years.

BubuBibi pads, also in the mail. I got the blue and green set :)

As for use and care, from what I've read, there's no "wrong way" to do cloth. People handle washing a million different ways and they all work. I haven't had a chance to use mine since they started arriving after my period ended but I plan to rinse them well, maybe spot them or briefly soak with some oxy clean if needed, ring them out, fold them up and pop them in my shiny new wet bag. Then you just toss them, wet bag and all into the laundry and wash them like you would anything else. Some people do something with a bucket of soapy water that they change every day instead but that sounds a little too germy for me. Other people skip the rinsing entirely and just toss them straight in the wash which also works. You can wash them with your regular laundry, maybe in with the towels, or do them separately. If you're cloth diapering a baby, toss them in with the dipes. I'd probably wash on cold but some use warm, and I'll definitely dry on low, especially if the pads have PUL. If you want to air dry, I'd toss them in the dryer for a few minutes after so they soften up and aren't crunchy like any other air dried clothing item. If you're out and about, pop a clean pad and wetbag in your purse so you can just fold up the used one and store it till you get home.

My snazzy new wet bag with a little strap to hang it, from SnugglesofLove. I also tossed around using a mesh laundry bag but I think I'm going to skip it since the pads got sort of tangled up in there during my trial wash

My period isn't actually due until after we get back from Cancun, but I'm super excited to give these adorable pads a try. As soon as the other brands come in, I'll take an updated stash photo and let you know which I like best!

Cancun?!?!

After dealing with months and months of sickness and feeling awful, E and I found ourselves with an entire week off over our anniversary. This rarely happens, E almost never has a solid week off (unless it's Grammy time) and when he does have days off, they never seem to coincide with our big events. It seemed like the stars were aligning and telling us it was time for a vacation.

Our first thought was Hawaii. We stayed in a gorgeous house on Kauai last time we were there and would have loved to go back. Unfortunately, that property was booked solid and our back up connection for a good hotel didn't pan out. With no good hotel options, and crazy expensive food and airfare, Hawaii was out.

Until we meet again, Kauai...

With Hawaii off the table, I began looking into other tropical destinations, specifically those with all inclusive vacation packages. This was right up E's alley and it took about 5 seconds for him to fall in love with the idea of an all inclusive resort - all the food you can eat, all the alcohol you can drink, what's not to love? However, it was now less than 3 weeks till we'd be leaving and the top 20 all inclusive resorts in Jamaica and the Caribbean were booked. For such an expensive trip, I really wanted to make sure we stayed at a fabulous resort and there were just no 8, 9 or 10/10 vacancies left for less than serious cash.

Aside from booking a smaller getaway like Santa Barbara or Morro Bay, our last option for a tropical getaway was a family friend's resort time share in Cancun. These friends had offered up their timeshare a long while ago and although we'd never taken them up on it, there was the offer, still standing. There was some rapid back and forthing about how cool it would be if we could go, and before I was quite mentally ready for it, we were booked for a 5 day vacation in Cancun.

My usual vacations take several months, hours of research and a great deal of thought to plan. I need prices on every possible flight mapped out over several price fluctuations. Trends and seasonal pricing information for all the housing options in our top three locations. This trip took two conversations and the better part of an hour. It went from an idea to kick around to a charge on our credit card in less than 48 hours. I'm actually so discombobulated by the whole thing that I've had a tough time wrapping my head around it.

Since everything was so last minute, we've had to book, cancel when there were problems with the extras, and rebook under a different affiliation number (who knew there was more than one??) and book the last two plane tickets available after they went up $300 overnight. The flights are so full that they won't let me select our seats on the way there and on the way back, we're in the last row. It's making me crazy.

But, then there's this:

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And this:

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And this:

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It also comes with resort credit good for the spa, snorkeling, turtle and stingray encounters and all sorts of other things. Private, romantic, candle lit dinners on the beach. An in room liquor dispenser, a swim up bar, delicious restaurants of all types, 24 hour room service. It promises, without a doubt, to be an absolutely incredible and much needed vacation.

Now, all I have to do is cram several months of planning and prepping into just a few days. I need swimsuits, sandals, beachy clothing! E has decided he hates all his shorts and where on earth am I going to find swimsuits in my size this last minute? I need to decide which excursions and spa treatments we want so I can book them now. There's so much to do that I'm going to need a vacation from my vacation planning.

Embryo Selection

Since our FET is officially back on, we've reached the point where Dr. D has asked us to start thinking about which embryo we'd like to transfer! While this isn't an option in every country, many specifically forbid this due to gender selection, we do have the opportunity to personally select our embryos in the US. When PGD couples do elect to hand pick their embies, they usually do so based on carrier/disease status, doctor's recommendation, embryo grade (quality) and gender. However, in our case, these four qualifiers don't really apply.

For starters, we only have two embryos and both are "healthy". None of my embryos were carriers, they were either affected or not, so these two are both Fragile X free and chromosomally normal. Although grading tends to be less important once embryos have made it to day 5, both our embryos are considered the same grade and quality so there's no advantage to one over the other.  Because of this, Dr. D has no option or recommendation as he thinks they're both good, healthy babies to be. As for gender, E and I are keeping that a bit of a surprise but we have no children and we'd like at least one of each anyway.  Boy or girl, double of either, we'd be equally thrilled.

Since we don't have a clear reason or method for choosing Embryo A over Embryo B or vice versa, it's left me open to start over thinking things like birth order and its effects on personality and development. What if I don't select the embryo that would have done better being born first? What if the genders are different? Would it be better for a girl to have an older brother or a boy to have an older sister? Sometimes boys with older female siblings tend to be more calm but I loved having a "cool" older brother and I think it made me a stronger girl. What if the genders are the same like my sister and I, who would I have been if my younger sister had been born first?  What if the embryo we pick doesn't stick, or what if they one we pick does stick but the second one doesn't and by then I have no eggs left? It's a slippery slope and neither E or I really know how to go about making the decision.

This leaves us with just a few options:

• We could go with embryologist's choice and ask them to select an embryo randomly on the day of. This is probably as random a choice as we can make since we have no part in the decision. 
• We could pull names out of a hat. Make little Embryo A and Embryo B cards and see which one comes out. 
• We could read over the embryo reports and gender and look for anything that might indicate one embryo over the other to be transferred first

When we geared up for our first FET attempt, we made a soft decision to go with the embryo labeled  Embryo A. While we were both okay with that, so much has happened since then that we've started to doubt our decision, especially since we didn't have a good reason for making it. Now, we've got about a month to decide and the clock is ticking. A or B? How do we decide who gets a chance to come home first?