WTF Side Effects??

Fuck. I was so jazzed about not having to take more stimulating injections that I didn't even consider the possibility of side effects from this teensy amount of Lupron. What could I possibly get from 10 measly units? I didn't even look up if Lupron had side effects. 100% my bad.

The shot itself went off well. Teensy needle that barely hurt, the site was a tad sore but nothing awful. About 2-3 hours after taking my first dose, I started to feel off. First it was a head ache that kind of crept up out of nowhere. Then my back started to ache. Then my right knee. I couldn't figure out what was going on until I asked E to look up the side effects an hour later after I started getting light headed.

I should really have done my due-diligence. These are only a few of the "common" side effects:

• acne, increased growth of facial hair;
• breakthrough bleeding in a female child during the first 2 months of leuprolide treatment;
• dizziness, weakness, tired feeling;
• hot flashes, night sweats, chills, clammy skin;
• nausea, diarrhea, constipation, stomach pain;
• skin redness, itching, or scaling;
• joint or muscle pain;
• vaginal itching or discharge;
• breast swelling or tenderness;
• testicle pain;
• impotence, loss of interest in sex;
• depression, sleep problems (insomnia), memory problems; or
• redness, burning, stinging, or pain where the shot was given.

This is not a complete list of side effects and others may occur. (Source)

I'm going to have to call or email the nurses if I continue to feel this shitty. Hopefully I'll get used to the medication and the side effects won't continue, I'm going to be useless if I feel this way for the next two weeks.

Egg Retrieval Set

I spoke with Dr. D and as expected, we are a go for triggering tonight. I'll be doing my Novarel (HCG) trigger shot at 12:15am tonight/tomorrow morning and my retrieval will be Tuesday at 12:15pm.

Dr. D went over my follicles with me and made me feel a little better about the ones we've got. He feels that since we got 4 solid embryos from our 4 best follies last cycle that it's perfectly reasonable to believe that these top 4 follicles will have healthy mature eggs in them that could be our next 4 embryos. It's an optimistic viewpoint and I'm choosing to share it and believe that these are the ones.

The prime three are the 20, 22 and 22. The 26 might be a little overcooked but the 17 could catch up between the trigger and retrieval, it's very possible. I'd like to see it at least 18 or 19 on retrieval day but I don't think they bother with measuring, he'll just take everything he sees.

I've definitely got stuff going on in there too, I'm hungry, beyond exhausted, still have that friggin' pressure head ache and feel all sorts of twingey cramping around my uterus. My ovaries don't feel too uncomfortable, no huge grapefruit feeling, so I think the estrogen the follies are putting out is to blame for the random sharp twinges in my lower belly. And I still have to pee over and over.

Now I just need to stay awake for my trigger! I've got an alarm set just in case but I think I'll be okay. I've been trying to nap all day without success so I just keep yawning and dragging my feet. We're so close, we just need to make it through this retrieval, get some healthy test results, and have a successful FET.

Disappointing Ovaries

Today we had another ultrasound and I'm trying really hard not to be super bummed. My right side, which is usually packed full of beautiful follicles, has basically pooped out in the most disappointing fashion. My left side is definitely more dominant this time and is picking up a bit of the slack, but not quite enough.

I was so bummed and distracted that I didn't take a legible photo of our sticky note to post. So, I decided to rewrite a more festive version to bring in some positive vibes. Last cycle we had 10 follies at this point and as you can see, we only have 6 this time and they're on the small and peaky side. My estrogen came in supporting their scrawniness at only 486 so we've still got a long way to go. 

Since the follies are coming along so slowly, I'm going to need to stim for longer than I'd planned. I bought enough Menopur for 11.5 days, through Saturday morning, and the nurse suggested that I'd need enough to get through the weekend. That means three more 5 vial boxes of Menopur from the Kaiser pharmacy for a total of just shy of $900. I was short on Omnitrope as well, I only bought enough for 8 days instead of 12 with the increased dosage, so I picked up a third cartridge of that which Kaiser was wonderful enough to cover for the second time. Small victories, I'll take them where I can get them.

Last night was also day one of Cetrotide and I'd managed to forget in the past 5 weeks how badly this stuff itches. It only lasts about 2 hours but my skin turns red, swells up like crazy and I feel like I need to scratch my skin off. I also hate the pre-filled syringes it comes with, they never prime properly and always leave a nasty bruise. Instead, I prefer to inject the liquid into the powdered vial, switch it out for a regular 3ml syringe, use the included mixing needle, and use one of my own 27 1/2 gauge needles to inject.  My 3ml locking syringes are always reliable, easy to prime, and the 27 1/2 needles almost never bruise like the too small 30 gauge or too long 27 3/4 needles. The smaller needles cut capillaries = bruise and the longer needles are the same thickness but go just deep enough to bruise too. Bleh.

I just finished injecting tonight's meds and I'm wishing, hoping, and praying that more follies pop up and that they all mature. I don't think the cycle is poor enough to cancel but I'm so worried we won't get enough mature ones to get our good embryos. Come on ovaries, you can go it. Grow follies, grow!

Less Than Awesome Ultrasound

So this mornings ultrasound appointment was less than ideal. At this point in our first IVF cycle, we had at least 8 follies 10-13mm and a 9th slightly smaller than 10mm. Today we had only 5 follicles in the 10-14mm range, 3 follicles a bit less than 10mm and 2 less than 5mm. My right side, which is usually my best producer, is basically crapping out at the moment and I'm super disappointed in it.

I was hoping for a bit better :(

Every cycle is different so it's really tough to compare one to another but I can't help over analyzing everything I've done differently. For example, I suppressed for two days longer. I took Tylenol for cramps while on my birth control pills and tums for heart burn.  I was late yesterday for my shot by 30 min. I'm taking the higher, correct dose of Omnitrope. I'm using Italian Menopur instead of UK Menopur.

Realistically, I think the difference is probably from the extra birth control but there's nothing I can do at this point. I just have to hope that a few more follies pop up and the ones we can see grow into beautiful, healthy, mature eggs. I'm going to be adding in my Cetrotide tomorrow since the follies weren't big enough today and my next appointment will be Wednesday. Fingers and toes crossed!

Zonked Out

Today I am completely and totally zonked out. I think I felt okay for the first couple hours of the day but since then I've been exhausted. My head and eyes feel so heavy, I feel like I could sleep the whole day away and still be tired.

Although the medication dosages have been exactly the same, I'm definitely getting side effects earlier with this second cycle of IVF.  With the first, it was probably a good week of stims before I felt any different than a slightly poked version of normal. This time, it only took about 2 days for me to start getting heartburn and bloating and now that we're on day 6, I'm so, so tired.  An exhausted, half asleep lump who looks like they swallowed a fat, firm balloon.

I'm so thrown off that I was actually late for my shot this evening. Since starting the IVF process, I've been vigilant about keeping on top of my injections. My alarm goes off at 9am/pm, I immediately grab supplies and prep my shots, and they're done by 9:30am/pm. This evening, I managed to get everything wrong. I was so tired I could barely stay awake so I took Milou for a nice walk in the finally cool, fall air. I came back at 8:40pm, thinking about my shot with a solid 20 minutes to spare, and then got distracted by a phone call from E.

E was on his way home from work and was hungry. I checked the fridges and cabinets but we didn't have anything that could be easily prepared for dinner. I then had the wonderful idea to give my sister L a ride home from her restaurant and bring home Japanese food. Sounds good right? Delicious food, no prep, easy peasy! Except somewhere in there I'd completely forgotten about my shot.  And then my evening shot event was somehow deleted from my calendar, which means no alarm. Whoops.

I was sitting outside L's restaurant, listening to my Harry Potter audio book for the 5 millionth time, when I looked down at my clock and saw 9:30pm. It took a few minutes to click

...huh, it's 9:32, hope she gets out soon, I'm hungry....9:37...huh...FUCK!

I freaked out a bit, called E who reminded me not to freak out, and then shortly thereafter my sister got off work. I zoomed home as fast as I could, skipped getting the delicious froyo I was planning to buy,  prepped the shot and finally got it done by about 10:05, half an hour late. My beef was stone cold by the time I got to it and I'm still upset with myself and completely exhausted again.

How could I forget for even a second that nothing is normal when you're doing IVF -_- Everything runs on such a strict schedule and here I am acting like I can go do whatever I feel like. Blah. I'm going to go sleep now so I don't accidentally miss my morning shot and next appointment.

SO ITCHY

My HCG symptoms finally went away and I was feeling really good! I could wear my pants again and was basically back to normal when it was time to start up birth control pills again. I'm used to the pills making me feel exhausted and hormonal but this round came with an unexpected and miserable side effect.

Bane of my existence right now

Almost immediately after starting the pills, I broke out in small, ITCHY, red bumps. I'm used to having rashes, I get contact dermatitis all the time from detergent, chemicals, all sorts of things you touch by accident, but those rashes are usually gone in a couple days and they aren't too itchy. This rash makes me want to scratch my skin off with a fork and I've had it for a week - I can't seem to get rid of it!

Thus far I've tried cortisone cream, coconut oil, tea tree oil, benadryl gel, benadryl pills, and the left over anti-fungal cream from when Button caught ring worm at the vet. They all soothe the itch temporarily but don't seem to be helping the rash. The anti-fungal may actually be upsetting it but I'm not sure.

It started under my right breast so my first though was heat rash or retained detergent in my bras. I soaked all the bras and washed them by hand while airing out my skin. Instead of going away, it spread down my belly and is still as itchy as ever.

SO ITCHY. You can tell when I've scratched it :(

At the same time the boob rash popped up, the same itchy, red bumps appeared in my right groin area where I usually shave and on my thigh. I mistook it for razor burn until it started itching and didn't go away with a cool compress and some coconut oil moisturizer. Then I thought it must be from my pads, I was on my period and last month had an awful reaction to the latex in my pad adhesive - maybe I was having a reaction to this brand too?

At this point, I have no idea what's causing it. Since it popped up with the birth control my current theory is maybe a skin yeast infection? You usually see them as diaper rash in babies but you can get them from birth control and antibiotics. If so, the anti-fungal should help it but like I said before, I'm not sure if it's helping or hurting. It's hard to tell since I've been on so many medications and it could just as easily be some hormonal or immune reaction. It's also right where I lay on my side to sleep so it could be detergent in my sheets? Ugh.

I hate you rash. So much.

The only things I know for sure are that it's not contagious, it's only on my right side and it itches like a bitch. It's your standard nondescript red bumps so I'm not sure if I should make an appointment with the derm yet. In the past, they see red bumps, tell me it's contact dermatitis and to basically wait it out. If this is a birth control reaction and the price of success I'm willing to grin and bear it, but I'd really like to get it cleared up before I start stims.

I think I'm going to ask S, my nurse midwife/acupuncturist if she knows what it is and how to get rid of it. If she says I need to see the derm, I'll make an appointment ASAP before I scratch my skin off.

Birth Control ZzzZzzZzz

Today is day three of my birth control suppression phase for IVF #2 and I am SO. TIRED. I know that drowsiness is a side effect, but there's something about the combination of period hormones and birth control hormones that makes me feel like an absolute slug. My eyes feel heavy and sore and I'm pretty sure I'd fall fast asleep if I closed them for more than a few seconds. Zzzzzz.

The stims got really uncomfortable near the end, especially when I added in the trigger and my waist line blew up like a blimp but I think birth control still makes me feel the worst. In addition to being super, super sleepy, the combination of hormones and PMS has made me SUPER grumpy. I'm usually easy going and I let things slide off my back, but lately everything is bothering me. I just want to seclude myself with my cats, my dog, E and craft things like quilts, cloth diapers and paintings.

Of course, quilts and paintings take time, money, materials, space and skill, none of which I have at the moment. I don't think I've touched a sewing machine in 10 years but that isn't hampering my desire to start sewing owl and nature themed blankets. Not to mention, we need to actually be pregnant with a healthy baby to have an actual need for owl quilted blankets, so we should probably tackle that hurdle before I break out the sewing machine.

Adooooorable Owl Quilt

There is no way I should be anywhere near a quilting project but the hormones are insisting otherwise. In case anyone else falls in love with this owl quilt and has actual skill with a sewing machine and the ability to stay awake, you can buy the pattern here.

I Can Wear Pants Again!

Yes! I woke up this morning and the water retention in my abdomen has gone down enough that I can wear pants with buttons again! At the height of the water retention it was really firm like I had swallowed a balloon and was about to explode. It's now much more squishy, like my regular belly chub, and it seems to be going down in sections. My lower abdomen is now squishier than my upper abdomen which looks a little weird but when it comes with pants with buttons I'll take it. I don't have a problem with wearing yoga pants every day but it's nice to have other options.

It's been a full week since the retrieval and I'm feeling pretty good. I don't need any painkillers, have no immediate appointments scheduled so I'm basically just siting around waiting for my period to show up. She always shows up when I don't want to see her but when I need her so I can get a move on with next cycle, she's nowhere to be found. It's still early, my luteal phase is on the short side at 11-12 days and it's only been 8 if you count retrieval day as ovulation. Le sigh, another exercise in patience.

One symptom that is sticking around and took me forever to figure out is the metallic taste in my mouth. I just had my teeth cleaned, I have no cavities or fillings, I'm brushing like 3 times a day, flossing and using mouth wash and it still tastes like I've been sucking on coins. This one didn't show up until a couple days ago and it's been driving me nuts ever since. It finally clicked for me that a metallic taste is a pregnancy symptom, which means its the HCG trigger. Damn that thing, still screwing with me over a week later.

In the meantime, I decided to celebrate my pants fitting by making them tight again with an absolutely delicious apple crumble with french vanilla ice cream. Oh man.  I used this base recipe because it's easy and delicious and then made a couple tweaks.

Their pretty photo

My version involved the following changes:

Ingredients: 

• 10 cups all-purpose apples, peeled, cored and sliced - about 8 apples for me. I only had Galas and a couple Fujis but would prefer Granny Smiths.
• 1 cup white sugar - I didn't use sour apples so I cut this down to 2/3
• 1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon - doubled this to 2 teaspoons
• 1/2 cup water - halved this to 1/4
• Add 1 tsp Vanilla
• Add 1 tsp Nutmeg 

• 1 cup quick-cooking oats - doubled to 2, Bob's steel cut oats
• 1 cup all-purpose flour - doubled
• 1 cup packed brown sugar - doubled
• 1/4 teaspoon baking powder - doubled
• 1/4 teaspoon baking soda - doubled
• 1/2 cup butter, melted - doubled
• Add 1 tsp Cinnamon 

Directions:

1.	Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degree C).
2.	Place the sliced apples in a 9x13 inch pan. Mix the white sugar, 1 tablespoon flour and ground cinnamon together, and sprinkle over apples. Pour water evenly over all. - I tossed the apples in the sugar mixture to evenly coat them
3.	Combine the oats, 1 cup flour, brown sugar, baking powder, baking soda and melted butter together. Crumble evenly over the apple mixture.
4.	Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for about 45 minutes. - Mine needed about 50-55 min

Yumbly Crumbly. Notice the caramely filling

The topping comes out extra crunchy and delicious while the apples are soft and cinnamony. You can throw it together pretty easily with things you already have in the house and it is absolutely delicious topped with vanilla ice cream. The only issue is I'm going to need to hit the gym asap if I keep cooking and eating like this and I'm not supposed to go for another week. Oy.