SO ITCHY

My HCG symptoms finally went away and I was feeling really good! I could wear my pants again and was basically back to normal when it was time to start up birth control pills again. I'm used to the pills making me feel exhausted and hormonal but this round came with an unexpected and miserable side effect.

Bane of my existence right now

Almost immediately after starting the pills, I broke out in small, ITCHY, red bumps. I'm used to having rashes, I get contact dermatitis all the time from detergent, chemicals, all sorts of things you touch by accident, but those rashes are usually gone in a couple days and they aren't too itchy. This rash makes me want to scratch my skin off with a fork and I've had it for a week - I can't seem to get rid of it!

Thus far I've tried cortisone cream, coconut oil, tea tree oil, benadryl gel, benadryl pills, and the left over anti-fungal cream from when Button caught ring worm at the vet. They all soothe the itch temporarily but don't seem to be helping the rash. The anti-fungal may actually be upsetting it but I'm not sure.

It started under my right breast so my first though was heat rash or retained detergent in my bras. I soaked all the bras and washed them by hand while airing out my skin. Instead of going away, it spread down my belly and is still as itchy as ever.

SO ITCHY. You can tell when I've scratched it :(

At the same time the boob rash popped up, the same itchy, red bumps appeared in my right groin area where I usually shave and on my thigh. I mistook it for razor burn until it started itching and didn't go away with a cool compress and some coconut oil moisturizer. Then I thought it must be from my pads, I was on my period and last month had an awful reaction to the latex in my pad adhesive - maybe I was having a reaction to this brand too?

At this point, I have no idea what's causing it. Since it popped up with the birth control my current theory is maybe a skin yeast infection? You usually see them as diaper rash in babies but you can get them from birth control and antibiotics. If so, the anti-fungal should help it but like I said before, I'm not sure if it's helping or hurting. It's hard to tell since I've been on so many medications and it could just as easily be some hormonal or immune reaction. It's also right where I lay on my side to sleep so it could be detergent in my sheets? Ugh.

I hate you rash. So much.

The only things I know for sure are that it's not contagious, it's only on my right side and it itches like a bitch. It's your standard nondescript red bumps so I'm not sure if I should make an appointment with the derm yet. In the past, they see red bumps, tell me it's contact dermatitis and to basically wait it out. If this is a birth control reaction and the price of success I'm willing to grin and bear it, but I'd really like to get it cleared up before I start stims.

I think I'm going to ask S, my nurse midwife/acupuncturist if she knows what it is and how to get rid of it. If she says I need to see the derm, I'll make an appointment ASAP before I scratch my skin off.

(Non)Pregnancy Symptoms

I have no idea what it feels like to be pregnant since I've never experienced it first hand, but I can definitely say with confidence that I'm not a fan of the symptoms of being not pregnant. The periods coming off a medicated cycle suck in so many ways, and I feel horrible on this birth control.

I was on birth control for almost 10 years and had a really good fit hormonally. It was a pretty low dose pill, somewhat obscure, and I could take it without side effects and feel good. What I somehow managed to forget was the initial first year of trying to find the right fit. Different pills, different doses, different hormones, months and months of feeling crappy. It wasn't my idea of fun.

Each clinic has prescription agreements with different companies. Kaiser used mostly Ferring, for Menopur, Endometrin, Ovidrel and the current bane of my existence, Sprintec. I asked my nurse about taking my original birth control but she said no, Kaiser only uses Sprintec birth control pills for infertility cycles, which contain a different form of estrogen than my old pills. I am not a fan. I don't know what USC Fertility uses, but thus far Dr. K has kept me on the Sprintec.

Thus far, mixing birth control with coming off a medicated cycle has got me:

• Cramps, cramps and more cramps. These come for free, without the birth control. 
• Insomnia, it's taking me at least 1-2 hours to get to sleep every night. 
• Exhaustion. I feel like I need a nap every day or like I can't wake up in the afternoons, even though I'm still getting a good amount of sleep despite the insomnia.
• Bloating, because it's impossible to escape from. It's a side effect of everything.
• Stomach pain, because I can't escape from that either. Definitely from the birth control now. 

Underneath the annoyance, I'm somewhat amused that I would have more uncomfortable side effects from a comparatively low dose oral hormone medication than from several daily injections containing enough hormones to make an elephant ovulate. I guess it makes sense since we know I'm estrogen deficient and sensitive to synthetic estrogen whereas I seem to respond only grudgingly to mass quantities of FSH and LH. Still, you've got to appreciate the irony.

We're about a week away from my next ultrasound now, so I'm wishing and hoping with everything I've got that the cysts are gone and there are tons of antral follies.