Marrying Your Sweetheart: The Sexy Time Episode

Warning: This post contains discussion of sex. Grown ups only.

In March I will be marrying my high school sweetheart. This also means that in March, I will be marrying the only person I've ever had sex with, or cared to have sex with, although he's not the only person I've dated. For a lot of people, this is a difficult concept to grasp. I'm not religious, not shy, and certainly not a prude. I firmly believe in sex before marriage, gay rights, I'm pro-choice, and all the other things you'd not normally associate with someone who marries their only lover. I don't really know what it is about him, or how exactly it happened, but something clicked for us and we never looked back.
Now, in light of our rapidly approaching nuptials, I've been facing some interesting questioning on my lack of sexual diversity. I'm not fulfilling my duty as a modern women, where is my girl power, if a man can do it so can I attitude? How can I possibly know if his is the only penis for me if I've never tried any others?

Yes, I can understand how it might be difficult to imagine only sleeping with one person ever. Except that for me, it hasn't been sleeping with just one person, not really. When we first began dating seriously, we were clumsy hormonal teenagers. Bodies were younger, hormones stronger, and the sex was certainly different than it is now. As we've aged, bodies have matured, techniques refined, and the hormonal gropings of youth have been replaced by the honest, and emotional connection that comes from completely knowing a person inside and out. Mushy, I know. The progression of our relationship is a progression of lovers, even if the players remain the same.

This is really tough for a lot of people. I know that the strong emotional component that governs my attractions is not the same for most people. Yes, I think Collin Firth and young Kiera Knightly are hot, but my sexual attraction is entirely ruled by emotion. Unless you're plugged into my overly large and mushy heart, I do not want to do you. Sorry casual sexizers and modern women out there, I just can't do fun and emotionless sex. I need me some serious warm fuzzies.

Any questioning on this issue tends to be followed with exclamations of how young we are/were, how we need to go get our hearts broken (been there Twice) to really be sure we've found the right person, how we need to indulge in our wild years etc. We've been there, we've done all that. We've snuck around together with the thrill of being caught following hot on our heels, we've fought and broke up and got together a hundred times, we've dealt with the stuff that ends relationships and we're still together. What does it matter if we experienced those things together instead of with a string of other ultimately wrong for us partners? Honestly, at some point it becomes more than a little annoying. When my relationship has lasted longer than BOTH of your marriages, than all your relationships put together, than any relationship you've ever had, I'm pretty sure your friendly advice to go bone lots of other people is no longer valid.

In this case, I am happy to fail in my duties as a modern woman. I am happy with my old fashioned love, my one lover, and I don't have even a shred of penis envy.