One of THOSE Days

So today has turned out to be one of those days. You know the ones I mean, where the day starts out great and then somehow everything seems to go wrong in a quick succession of events that leaves your head spinning and wonder "did that just happen?". In this case the answer is yes, that did just happen. Be prepared people, this will be a TMI episode.

To set the stage, I think we need a little back story. I started on birth control pills at about 13 years old to control killer cramps and periods that seemed to last for months. I'll stop you now to say NO! I am not pregnant. Back to history. Way before there was Seasonique or it was cool to limit your periods, my OBGYN had me take my pills one complete box at a time, so I would take active pills straight for 3 months and have a light, cramp-free period four times a year. For reasons to be discussed in another post, I kicked the BC habit last February and returned to the land of the normal perioded. Man, having a period every month simultaneously sucks and blows. I'd forgotten what bad cramps felt like or what it was like to bleed like a stuck pig ever 25 days. It's now November and I'm still trying to figure out what the hell my body is doing every month.

Extremely disturbing anime period picture to follow. Proceed with caution.

(Source)
Incredibly disturbing depiction of an Anime period. Really, Japan?!?!?!?!

Today was one of those disgustingly hot days, where its 90 degrees at the beach and still 80 at night. As you might know by now, I have class every Thursday night. So I popped in a pad, put on my dark chubby jeans to control the bloat (wtf is up with bloat? birth control pill bloat is nothing like this, as my mom lovingly pointed out I look 6 months pregnant!) and headed off to class. The room was absolutely sweltering and we were discussing riveting topics such as fetishes and drug use. Apparently at some point during this three hour lecture, my pad decided to epically fail and I ended up with blood all over the back of my jeans. Did I notice this? Nooooo that would make things too easy! I even went to the bathroom and still somehow managed to miss the dark red spots on the back of my pants. Really, self, Really?

Looking back now, I'm wondering how many people got flashed the period jeans and whether it was really the heat that kept people so quiet today. I sit directly in the front row of a brightly lit classroom so every time I stood up they would have gotten an eyeful of tush. There is a chance that my long shirt covered it but I'm gonna file that into the wishful thinking category. Back in middle school (not so much high school, no one really cares if you have an accident at an all girls school) this would have Totally mortified me. Now, I find myself surprisingly ambivalent. I think there's something about longing for a baby knowing that after giving birth you're probably going to pee yourself when you sneeze or laugh too hard that makes bloody jeans a little less mortifying. That, or I'm just to crabby to care. PMS anyone? Yes, apparently that was fairly well controlled by the birth control pills too!

After discovering my now desperately needing a wash jeans, I went into the wash room to do the third load of laundry for the day. I spotted everything, popped the clothes in the wash with some other darks and added the soap. Only, I didn't. Anyone who shops at Costco will know that their environmentally friendly laundry detergent comes in the same bottle as their environmentally friendly floor cleaner. You should now be able to see where this is going. Apparently, sometime during the course of the painting and window replacing going on at our place, the two bottles got switched. This means that I washed probably about 5 or 6 loads of laundry with floor cleaner. I'm really hoping that environmentally friendly floor cleaner is as gentle as sensitive free and clear laundry soap because I tend to break out in hives when exposed to unfriendly soap. I'd really like to keep the spots to a minimum given the pregnant belly and already spotty enough jeans.

Can I get an Oy Vey people? Don't you just hate days like today?