19dp5/6dt - Happy Mother's Day

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 Happy Mother's Day to all the mamas, soon to be mamas, pet mamas and future will be mamas!

Unfortunately for me, I started off my first soon to be mamas day with what is probably a cold. I can't figure out whether it's a regular cold (pregnancy suppresses the immune system) or just pregnancy expanding all my vessels which produces more mucous. I've got a killer sore throat so I'm thinking I might have some sort of post nasal drip thing going on and irritating it. Instead of going out to dinner tonight like we'd planned, E picked up some Matzo Ball soup for me which I ate before falling asleep on his arm and stomach. I'm pretty sure I drooled all over him, my nose started to plug up and I was sleeping with my mouth open, but he didn't move and let me sleep for a good two hours. I seriously love that man.

Since I'm pregnant I can't take anything for a cold. It's not fun, but honestly this is one cold I'm more than happy to just suffer through, I'm not willing to do anything that might damage our fragile embryo during such an important part of development. I can get some decent relief gargling hot water with a little apple cider vinegar but I made the last batch too strong and ended up gagging which was no fun. It works pretty well for at least an hour but I'm not sure I can pull it off with a more sensitive palate. 

In better news, I got a voice mail from the clinic confirming that they want to do my ultrasound at 6 weeks. I was thinking they'd wait for 6 weeks and a few days since we're more likely to see a heartbeat on the 18th at 6 weeks and 4 days but their message said 6 weeks exactly. I'm planning on giving them a call tomorrow and see if I can't get an appointment date so we have something concrete to wait for.

Day 4: Wishing, Hoping, Itching

Today is day 4 of our embryo's growth and following the traditional protocol, we did not get an update. I'm choosing to take this as a good sign since I'm fairly sure they would have let us know if something happened to our embie babies today. One of the women in my online PGD support group also had two embryos growing at the same time as mine and she lost both of them on day 4. I'm so crushed for her and am now even more worried for our two, this is such a big jump for them to make.

I'm hoping that our next update will be tomorrow, but there's a chance we won't hear from Dr. D until Monday. Last cycle we had 2 embryos biopsied day 5 and 2 biopsied day 6 so these two could be ready on either day. My nerves seriously hope they're healthy and ready for biopsy/freeze tomorrow because I can't take much more of this waiting.

In other news, I haven't been reporting too much on recovery but I'm doing okay. I had so few eggs that I didn't get OHSS this time and only needed some Advil/Tylenol for the first couple days. I've taken an odd one here or there for a hormone headache and some muscle aches as everything returns to normal but overall it's been a pretty uneventful recovery. They didn't even need to give me Fentanyl after the retrieval, just two Tylenol and a hot blanket on my belly. Mostly I'm just exhausted, like can't keep myself awake tired, have to pee all the time and am still crazy bloated. I've been sustaining myself on a diet of Matzo Ball soup (thank you E for repeatedly playing delivery man) and Gatorade/Electrolyte water and feel like I have the flu.

Cillian takes advantage of my exhaustion and bloated pillow belly to get in a good nap

My most obnoxious complaint is probably the bruise on my hand from my IV. The nurse, who was quite experienced and really nice, had to try twice to get my IV in. She tried first on my right hand, which is usually my good one, numbed it up with lidocaine and popped in the IV needle. The needle went in correctly but she was right up against a valve so the catheter couldn't go into the vein. She tried to apply some gentle pressure to open it and then tried to float the catheter in but neither worked. She ended up taking it out and going for my left hand, where she repeated the process and the IV catheter went right in. That site doesn't hurt at all and didn't bruise but my right hand has this nasty, deep bruise that has been surprisingly painful. It was really bad the first day, definitely worse than my sore ovaries, and the bruise is still there and still tender today.

My other big complaint is that somehow, the hivey rash has returned to my stomach. This leads me to believe that I had two separate rashes last time - hives on my belly from the medication, and an allergic rash to E's shaving cream on my bikini line. They were there at the same time so I assumed they were connected but apparently not. The new rash is pretty close to where the old one was on my belly, a little lower, and has to be related to the hormone injections. Just like previous flare up, it itches like a bitch and I have to keep compressing Yin Care, slathering on Cortisone cream and pouring on Benadryl.  Maybe it's related to falling or rising hormone levels or a reaction to the HCG (please don't let this happen when I'm pregnant!) but whatever it is, I really wish it would take a hike.

The Rash Strikes Back!

Just one more day to get through. One more day and then we can move on to testing, find out that all our embryos are magically healthy and perfect and we can start putting them back where they belong. If we're able to do a successful FET in early December we could be bringing home one of these fighter embryos as a baby at the end of August. I hope, I hope, I hope, come on embryos, you can do it. 

Day 1: Fertilization Report

Dr. D called this morning to give us the news that we now have SIX wonderful looking embryos. I was getting kind of starry eyed there for a bit, dreaming about having 11 embryos, but I'm very, very happy with our six.

Out of the eleven, 3 ended up being too immature/small to fertilize, leaving 8 good mature eggs, and 2 of those 8 don't look fabulous after fertilization, giving us the 6. The six all fertilized quickly and easily and are looking really good thus far. Dr. D said getting 80% of the mature eggs to fertilize is very good and I'm really excited for these six. Our next report will be on day 3 when we should be seeing 6-8 cells in each embryo. 

Original Photo came from here

As far as recovery goes, I'm doing better than I expected. I heard all sorts of horror stories about people being in terrible pain after a retrieval and I've been extremely lucky that that hasn't been my experience. I took two Tylenol around 1am and went to sleep with my feet on a big pile of pillows to try and help the bloat go down. Aside from getting up at 1:30, 2:30 and 5:00am to pee, I slept pretty well.

When I finally woke up, it was to the sensation of cramping and stabbing, but in my stomach not my ovaries. My first thought was:

"oh nooooo, is this the god awful constipation everyone talks about??? Noooo do not want!"

Ten seconds later I realized they weren't. Nope. Not even close. They were actually hunger pains! Apparently my body has not caught up to the fact that it's no longer feeding 11 protein leeching follicles and I'm still starving and craving soup. I did end up being a little constipated later but it wasn't anything like people had described, it did not make me feel like my ovaries were going to die and fall out, so clearly guzzling all this water is helping.  I'm averaging somewhere between 100-150 ounces a day of PH/electrolyte water, 2-3 of the big bottles from Whole Foods, and I have a couple more left to get me through today. 

I took two more Tylenol around 9am just in case and Dr. D told me to take it easy today. Since I inhaled all the Matzo ball soup E brought me yesterday, my first trip out of the house was to Factor's Deli to get two more Matzo ball soups. I'm pretty sure E thinks I'm a little crazy but it's nice to be craving the stuff I'm actually supposed to be eating. Clear, salty broth and protein is exactly what the doctor ordered, and as long as it continues to help, who am I to disagree?? 

11 Good Eggs!!!!

I had my retrieval this morning and the doctor was able to retrieve 11 good eggs! Yes! I'm so proud of my ovaries right now, take that FXPOI!

I know everyone's egg retrieval experience is different. Before going in for my procedure I read as many first hand accounts as I could, and I still wasn't sure what to expect. It's a little after 7pm now so it's still early but my good drugs have worn off from the retrieval and thus far I have to saw it hasn't been so bad.

We ran a little late in the morning but I still checked in about 50 minutes before my procedure. I had run a wash the night before and apparently E's jeans had gum in them - gum which got all over my lucky rainbow panties. I was not thrilled but opted for a pair of blue starfish undies to match my blow fish socks.

Puffers!

Once there, I turned in my paperwork for SCRC and they had me fill out another huge stack of paperwork for the surgery center. I thought I was coming in fully prepared with my three massive packets but apparently there's always more paperwork!  After signing about a million consent forms and handing over our credit card for ICSI and the biopsy, I made the mistake of going pee. I drank SO MUCH electrolyte water yesterday to try and stave off constipation that I'd been peeing like every 10 minutes. I asked the paperwork person in charge if there was anything else she needed from me and she said no, so I figured great, let's go pee now so there's no chance of my bladder getting in the way of the retrieval. I've hard about people needling a catheter when they go in with a full bladder and I was Not going to be one of them. Apparently, this was the wrong move.  I was supposed to pee in a cup, probably for an unnecessary pregnancy test, but there was nothing I could do at that point. Whoops.

After my potty faux pas, I met the nurse who would be taking care of me during my retrieval. She was very friendly and assured me that the lack of pee wouldn't be a problem. She took me back to the recovery room, took my vitals (my blood pressure was high, I was a bit nervous) and had me change into a gown, which I accidentally put on backwards and had to change. That thing was huge! I met the anesthesiologist, we went over my latex allergy and allergy to all the fun drugs and I decided to stick with Tylenol and later Advil instead of getting a script.  Then the nurse brought in E to sit with me and hold my hand which I so appreciated. I felt a lot better with him there even if he couldn't do anything but provide emotional support. 

A few minutes later it was time for my IV, which came with the usual numbing injection that burns for a second and the large IV needle which aches in spite of the local anesthetic. It wasn't bad though, she got it first try and Dr. Danzer came over to see how we were doing. I had my blow fish socks on, ready to dispense some good luck, and Dr. D decided to take me a little bit early since everything was good to go!

I said goodbye to E and they wheeled me back in to the procedure room. They had me scoot onto the surgery table and I was able to chat with the nurses about the centers preferred method of embryo culture. They must have given me the general around that point because that's the last thing I remember before waking up back in the recovery room maybe 20 minutes later. 

Egg Retrieval!

I've been under anesthesia a couple times before and have never had unpleasant side effects or difficultly waking up. I pretty much pop awake, fully alert, and this time was no different. I chilled for awhile, kind of feeling myself out, waiting for my nurse to come by, and once she saw I was awake she brought me E for company and a couple Tylenol. I don't know how useful Tylenol is for most people, but for me it does nothing. My ovaries were still feeling pretty sore and tender 10 minutes later and they don't like you to take Advil right after the retrieval, so the nice anesthesiologist brought me some Fentanyl for my IV. One small dose did the trick, it dulled the achey soreness to a completely bearable level, and a couple minutes later I was good to go.

E helped me back into my clothes and they brought me a wheelchair to chill in while E brought the car around. We gave him about a 10 minute head start, they wheeled me down, E helped me into the car, and we were home free! I was, as expected, starving so I placed an order for a massive amount of food at our local jewish restaurant/deli. As far as I'm concerned, Matzo ball soup is definitely Jewish penicillin and it was the first thing I wanted.

E dropped me off at home, got me situated in bed and then went to pick up my lunch. Almost immediately, I had to pee AGAIN, for the millionth time. This was another thing I was worried about - a lot of people report that the first pee after a retrieval is really painful but for me it really wasn't awful. My bladder kind of ached for a few seconds in a way I wasn't expecting, almost like the feeling of pressure, but I was basically just peeing out all the water I've been chugging and that was it. I've probably peed at least 8 times since coming home, drank another 100oz of water, and the slight bladder ache is mostly gone.

I was planning on taking it easy on the food since I'm still worried about constipation, but I devoured lunch like a starving person. The entire container of Matzo ball soup disappeared, along with some bagel chips and half a French Dip sandwich. I thought I'd have a little soup, relax some, drink water and maybe have more soup later, but I devoured the whole thing in one sitting like a beast. Then I kissed E goodbye, he headed off to work, and I promptly feel asleep with my full belly, not to be awakened until several hours later by my once again protesting bladder.

This is someone else's soup because I was too busy shoveling mine into my face to take a photo. But it was from Factor's Deli and it was delicious!

I've been up now for a bit and feeling mostly fine, just a little tender. I'm trying to be a good patient this go round so I just took more Tylenol instead of the Advil I'd really like to take. The tenderness feels like an ache as opposed to cramps or sharp pain, but it does make it difficult to bend over and get up. All in all, I'd say I've been pretty lucky so far.

Side Effects:

• Tender, sore ovaries/belly/uterus/lady bits 
• The backs of my hands and the front of my knees were weirdly sweaty, probably from the anesthesia or fentanyl
• Sore throat, probably from the anesthesia, but I wasn't intubated. I hope I'm not getting sick!
• Some really, really minor bleeding, like barely any when I wiped twice, along with some of the gel from the ultrasound probe
• Hungry like the wolf 
• Sleepy
• Bloating - this supposedly wont go away for about a week
• No constipation yet, but who knows with the amount of food I just inhaled ><

Tomorrow morning  Dr. D will be calling with our fertilization report and I am hoping/praying/wishing that all 11 good eggs fertilize perfectly. About 6 hours after the retrieval, while I was snoozing away, one of the SCRC embryologists was fertilizing my eggs via ICSI. Dr. D joked about it being a bit of a beauty contest and said that the embryologist would pick the absolute best looking and swimming sperm he could find from our sample.

ICSI!

It's officially out of my hands now so the only thing I can do is wait and hope and trust in the skill of their embryologist and the quality of my eggs. 

Grow healthy and strong little embryos, you're so, so very wanted!