After a long and unnecessarily exhausting day, all people and animals have been moved out of what will henceforth be referred to as the house of death. I'm not sure we'll ever be the same, but most (cringe) of us are safe and will be able to return home on Monday.
To start the day, my honey and I wrapped up our house sitting job in Santa Monica and returned home to start bagging fish and catching cats. Since we were pressed for time as I had class in Santa Monica at 6:45, we locked the cats inside and bagged as many fish as we could. As you might be able to guess, fish don't really like being bagged so that charming endeavor took most of the day. We got all but eight and around 4pm successfully loaded them into the car. It was about this time that we realized we were missing two cat carriers, so Button (who is escape and hide prone) and Zena (who is a mean motherfucker) were boxed into the two carriers we did have and put in the car. Zena voiced his displeasure loudly and frequently while Button proceeded to freak the fuck out and wouldn't stay calm until pressed against me with her carrier being worn like a purse. Devlin, who is an indoorish kitty, was put in a plastic box with a towel and one of those lids that close but don't seal (don't worry - lots of air) and also put in the car. Our mistake then, was Haji. As we were putting kitties in the car, Haji somehow slipped out of the bedroom and made for the outdoors. We thought he was trying to escape so we quickly caught him. Mistake number 1. Only later would we learn what a bad idea that was. Haji is a seasoned car rider who generally doesn't really need a carrier so instead of putting him in a plastic box I strapped on his harness and kitty leash and let him wander around the car. Mistake number 2. With Zena and fish in my honey's car and Button, Haji, Devlin and my sister in my car, we hit the road going approximately 0.2 miles an hour and headed for the valley.
If you live in Los Angeles, have visited Los Angeles, or basically know of Los Angeles you will likely know that traffic here SUCKS. When I say sucks, I don't mean oh shucks it'll take 30 minutes instead of 20 to get somewhere, I mean it'll take 2 hours instead of 20 minutes to get somewhere. Especially if you have to take the demon 405 freeway like we did. Expecting some inevitable time delay, we left 2 hours and 45 minutes before my class and figured we'd be good. Mistake number 3. About 30 minutes (2 miles) into the trip, Haji got super agitated. He started meowing and pacing and is exuding a general "shit is going down soon" attitude. Unfortunately, it turned out to be quite literal shit as 5 minutes later he took a giant crap on the floor of my front passenger seat. Not only could we not open any windows or clean up said crap, but it was at this time that we realized we'd forgotten the litter boxes at home. Mistake number 4. Since the car stunk, the cat was miserable and we had nowhere for them to go (literally) we turned around and headed back home. To add a cherry on top of the experience, I decided to open the sparkling water my honey had so graciously given me for the tip and it exploded all over me, soaking my only pair of clean jeans. Fun stuff man. To make a long story short (too late) we ran home, dumped and rinsed the litter boxes, put Haji in a plastic box and hit the road again 30 minutes later. Though he hated it the box proved to be a smart move because he later had to pee while we were trapped on the 405 for 1.5 HOURS.
If you've been keeping track of time by now you might be wondering "hey! didn't you say you had class at 6:45??" Yes, you would in fact be right. We arrived at my honey's house in the valley at about 6:20ish, 25 minutes before my class was scheduled to start on the other side of the city. Big uh oh. We dumped the fish and cats as quick as we could, jumped back in the car and drove to Santa Monica, making me about 30 minutes late for my three hour class. My professor was not amused. To add to the stress, instead of being able to go back and relax after class, we had to go back to my place to catch the remaining 8 fish.
Even after ripping up my entire aquarium, draining water and soaking ourselves, my honey and I could only catch 3 of the 8ish fish. This decision was made at 1am to seal the tank up as well as we possibly could and hope for the best since my hun had to work in the morning and my sister was alone in the valley with all the animals. We used the special bags the termite company gave us and sealed the entire top of the tank, hopefully making it airtight and turned off all equipment that disturbs the water surface.
Hopefully when we move back in on Monday everyone will be alive and well and this will all fade into a bad memory.
No comments:
Post a Comment