8 Weeks - Heard Bean's Heartbeat!

This morning we had the absolutely exquisit pleasure of hearing little bean's heartbeat for the first time. It was such a beautiful sound, thumping away, beatbeatbeatbeatbeat like a strong, steady drum. I can't stop listening to it, I need to take a longer video of it next time so I can listen on repeat.

8 week little bean! Not a great photo but still adorable

The downside of the appointment is that we really didn't love the doctor we met with. She's not on my schedule for any other appointments so I'm hoping she was just the ultrasound dating person and not one we're going to have to see again. She argued with me about how far along I am, didn't seem to understand basic post IVF medication (estrogen and progesterone are pretty much standard), wasn't going to look for my SCH even though I told her I had one and more importantly didn't seem to understand PGD/PGS. I introduced myself, explained that this was an IVF/PGD/PGS pregnancy, these are the medications I'm on etc. And she's like oh....I see here you're a FX carrier? You know you could pass that on to boys....and E and I looked at each other like WTF? Is this lady for real? I explained again that yes, I knew I was a carrier since I JUST said we did PGD/PGS and that I was aware my mutation could be passed on to both boys AND girls HENCE THE PGD. Then she asked if I had seen the genetic counselor to talk about passing on my mutation. OMFG.

She was nice and thorough otherwise, I just don't think she has any idea what PGD/PGS is or she wasn't listening when I tried to explain what we'd done. It was disconcerting and we definitely don't want to see her again. We worked way too hard to get this baby to continue care with someone who doesn't understand everything involved.

Mama Mobile

As part of everything falling into place for this little bean to become our take home baby, E and I have finally upgraded my Jetta, Sydney, to an absolutely fantabulous mama mobile! We're a bit crazy so we actually got her just before we transferred, in anticipation of our little bean sticking. Thank goodness they did! So, baby's first official gift is a safe ride home, a 2009 Toyota Highlander Hybrid Limited with three lovely rows. I usually name my cars but I'm still getting to know her and right now she's mostly being called "Shiny" as in "What a nice shiny!".

While we were originally looking at slightly newer Highlanders, as well as the Subaru Outback, Honda CRV and Pilot and the Mazda CX7 and CX9, Shiny sort of fell into our laps. One of our family friends, P, who had been ill for some time passed away and the person who was going to be buying Shiny had to back out. This left her up for grabs and when P's wife offered her to us, we jumped at the chance to try her out. A hybrid had definitely been outside our price range and although she's an older Hybrid and newer gas models get fairly comparable gas mileage, we both really liked the green factor and low emissions.

Our top priorities for a new car mostly focused around family friendliness. We wanted three rows so that I can transport people and Milou at the same time. A back seat large enough for rear facing car seats without having to move the front seats all the way up. When we're not using the third row, we wanted a nice big trunk to hold all the things I cart around on a daily basis as well as the occasional IKEA purchase and soon, a stroller. It had to get decent gas mileage, not be too big to park, preferably have leather for ease of cleaning and above all be safe and not too expensive. I'll admit that Sydney is quite the fancy, sporty girl and because of that I have gotten used to certain "standards." She's luxurious with lovely extras like butt warmers, steering wheel controls, automatic climate control and a fabulous sunroof. These things definitely weren't necessities, but they would be nice to have.

Shiny met and exceeded all of our expectations with ease, even if she's a little older and has more miles than we were originally looking for.  She has three rows with a very respectable trunk when the third is down. Her back seat is super spacious and roomy, it can easily accommodate tall people and car seats, and it has second row air conditioning to keep our passengers and soon to be baby comfortable. Since she has the Limited package, she has all leather interior and power everything including a gorgeous sun roof, back up camera, GPS, bluetooth, and just about every extra you could have added. The trunk even opens and closes automatically which is a cool trick that hasn't gotten old. After driving her for a month, I'm starting to get the hang of parking her and even in traffic conditioners not ideal for a hybrid, she's getting pretty good mileage for an SUV. All in all, I'm absolutely smitten with her and can't wait to bring home baby in her roomy, safe back seat.

7 weeks 2 days - Second Ultrasound

Eeeee, this weeks ultrasound actually resembles a tiny person! I think I can even see the hint of a face there,  little bean is looking at us with their face turned slightly towards our right. Their heart was fluttering away, I think the tech said 148bpm, but it's still too early to hear it out loud. If we're lucky, we should be able to hear it next week at our first Kaiser ultrasound.

Everything is looking really good thus far but I do have a tiny SCH to the right of the baby. Both the doctor and tech said it's really small and not anything to worry about, they're super common with IVF and I haven't had any spotting or bleeding. I'm already taking things really easy since I'm nauseous all day long and not up for anything, but they told me to take it even easier if possible.

As far as symptoms go, thus far the biggest challenge has probably been the morning sickness. I'm still having difficulty keeping down my Estrace, prenatal, aspirin and probiotic in the morning but Dr. D isn't overly concerned because my body seems to be making a good amount of estrogen on its own. Every time I find myself hugging the toilet, my first thought is always that I'm so grateful to be pregnant. It's a totally weird paradox to feel so miserable and grateful at the same time, I may be puking up this slice of toast/banana/random bland food but it's because little bean is doing everything right and growing strong.

Along with the morning sickness I've got the ever present crazy sore boobs and extreme bloating. My belly is so large that I can't hide it in regular clothing, for only being 7 weeks it sure looks a lot more like 7 months! It has me wondering whether the bloating will go down before the baby starts to legitimately bump or if there will just be a seamless transition between bloaty belly and baby belly. I don't mind either way, it's just leading to some awkward looks from people thankfully too polite to say anything about my massive tum. I'm not sure how long I can pass our little bean off as tacos lol.

6 weeks 6 days - Intake Appointment

Oh man, this is one I'm typing up through some serious queasiness. Even though it's super early, S asked me to pick a hospital and pre-register so I could get on the calendar for prenatal appointments. The hospital choice was a difficult one, more difficult I think because of our location. We live about 5 minutes from Kaiser A. They're a smaller Kaiser but I absolutely love my OB, who is the head of the department there. Unfortunately, they don't really have a rated NICU (it's not even on the state list) and my OB is the only OB I'd want to deliver with there. S wants me very much to deliver and receive care at Kaiser B.

Kaiser B is about 30 min - 1 hour from our house which is a pain in the butt. It's a larger Kaiser with what is considered to be the best labor and delivery unit and a NICU. I had originally planed to go with my awesome OB at Kaiser A but after weighing all the options, it seemed like a better and safer bet to go with Kaiser B, even if it means giving up my beloved OB. The chances of actually delivering with your OB aren't great and I'd be pretty upset if I couldn't have her. S is a Nurse Midwife at Kaiser B and her partner midwife is also supposedly wonderful along with the OBs. If I have any sort of emergency, I can always go to the closer Kaiser A but everything scheduled will take place at Kaiser B.

The next step was actually making the appointment which was mentally harder than it should have been. It felt a lot like tempting fate and I was really hesitant to make those kinds of plans with a pregnancy this new, but I finally went ahead and had my intake appointment today.

This appointment started out with lots of questions answered via tablet. They were mostly basic pregnancy and health questions so it was kind of cool to get them out of the way without wasting my face to face time with the nurse. Once I got to her, we were able to focus entirely on our story and the calendar.  Holy balls was S right about the calendar.

After explaining about our IVF journey and briefly discussing the available prenatal screening options, the nurse opened up "THE CALENDAR" and proceeded to book me for the next 4 months. And she wasn't just booking me to get ahead, there were practically no appointments left for the date ranges I needed! I asked to try and have my appointments with S but she was only available for my July and August appointments. I also needed an OB since I'm not delivering with my wonderful Kaiser A one, so this nurse booked me with the head of this labor and delivery unit. Then, since I'm over 25 and I'm an even chubbier chubster than usual thanks to IVF, the nurse had me take the gestational diabetes screening test.

(Source)

OMG this stuff was disgusting. It tastes like some sort of burning, chemical orange soda and is in no way, shape or form morning sickness friendly. It's now been over 6 hours since I drank it and I still feel sicker to my stomach than normal, and my intestines are making all sorts of angry noises. I somehow managed to choke it down and not vomit, finished up the appointment and then went to have my blood drawn an hour after the drink. I guess the nurse didn't see my previously updated STD panel in my chart that I just did for the clinic so she ordered another full panel along with the glucose and urine test. 10 vials of blood after drinking the Glucola and not being able to drink water or throw up? Not fun. 

My next appointment with Kaiser is in just a week or so to have my physical and first Kaiser ultrasound. Luckily, we won't actually have to wait that long to see our little bean since our next clinic appointment is this weekend.  Two ultrasounds in less than a week? We're going to get spoiled :) This time I just need to remember to ask E to get some video footage for me.

6 weeks 4 days - Morning Sickness

It has begun! I've been feeling queasy for a couple of days but today was the first day I actually threw up. I woke up feeling nauseous and was just getting out the crackers to see if nibbling helped when I had to run for the bathroom. It seemed to be entirely bile but my big worry is the medication - I take my estradiol, aspirin, prenatal, and probiotic first thing since the Estradiol is time sensitive and taken every 12 hours. If I throw up the medication, which I'm not even sure how I'd track since it dissolves so quickly, do I need to repeat the dose?

(Source)

I called the nurse to ask and she said I'd need to repeat my lab work at the end of the week to see if my numbers are falling. It's not helpful if I throw up 15 minutes after taking my pills but we don't want to overdose since estrogen is a powerful hormone. I know 80% of women get morning sickness but my clinic seems to be a bit fussier about it. They asked me to try preggie pops and call back in 48 hours to report on the puking, which I hopefully will not be repeating.

Still, it's a small, welcome price to pay to have this little embie on board :) Anything for this little bean!

Over Achiever on Board!

We had our wonderful ultrasound yesterday and we officially have one over achiever on board! And a tired, slightly nauseous mama lol. Our little bean is growing right on time, they correctly measured 6 weeks 1 day yesterday which is fabulous and much to my amazed surprise, we actually saw a tiny heart beating away!

Everything looked good, the sac, yolk sac, fetal pole and tiny flickering heart. Now that we've seen a heart beat, even though it's only 6 weeks, Dr. D says that our miscarriage risk has dropped to 5%. It felt great to hear him say that but the anxiety is still there. Our next check in will probably be next week and I think I'm going to ask E to video the screen so I can peak back at that heartbeat whenever I want to.

Hi little bean :)

I hope one little bean means an easy, healthy pregnancy. I'm feeling a good deal of queasiness but haven't thrown up so I consider that a win. The bloating is also getting even more noticeable, even from last week to this week. Our embie is still tucked way behind my pubic bone but with all the progesterone I'm shoving up my girly bits, my stomach is huuuuuuge. I'm already getting looks from people side-eying my belly but my lips are sealed, we're planning to keep things under wraps for quite some time. I don't think we'll be announcing even a hint until after all our genetic testing and our anatomy scan at 20 weeks.

23dp5/6dt - Still Climbing

Today's labs showed that my HCG has risen to an impressive 39,071! Go, baby, go! Even more exciting is that tomorrow is the big day - our first ultrasound, our first real opportunity to take a peak and see what's going on in there. Although it's probably too early to see a heartbeat, I feel like actually seeing a pregnancy where it's supposed to be will help quell some of the anxiety I'm still wrestling with. I know it won't really go away, but I'd like to be able to breathe a little easier knowing things are progressing as they should be.

According to Betabase.info, if we've only got one little embie in there, they are still gunning for over achiever of the year award. We're still way ahead of average and my doubling time is only just slowing to 77 hours. If there's just the one, they mean business. I expect this kiddo to come out ready for college or at least ready for some serious nursing sessions.

If there are two, my anxiety is probably going to explode. I can only hope that both are strong enough to hang on, grow well, and not become a statistic. Our end goal is a healthy, living child and if we can get two out this experience, great. I just need them to stay off each others cords and do their best to grow and thrive.

Guess we (might) find out tomorrow! Of course there's always the possibility that it's too early, twins do have a knack for popping up in later scans, but we'll just have to wait and see. I'm hoping I can keep my coughing/hacking/snotting under control long enough to get some good photos.

22dp5/6dt - High Dose Hook Effect

Since my friend was kind enough to send me an entire box of pregnancy tests, I've been taking one every morning with FMU. I like seeing the two dark lines pop up as a sort of reassurance that everything is still okay in there since we haven't had an ultrasound yet.

The lines have always been nice, dark and reassuring until this morning. I actually slept in a bit later today and tested with a solid 8 hour hold. To my horror, the test line was lighter than the control line, lighter than the test the day before, OMGWTFAHHWHATWASGOINGON? I told myself the test was crappy, and it was, even the test line was lighter than normal, and resolved to test again after a 4 hour hold. Oh my god, holding your bladder and pregnancy do not go well together. I made it exactly 4 hours, rushed to the bathroom, and although the test was a little darker, it wasn't as dark as it should be. That's when it hit me right in the face, the high dose hook effect. Duh. I've experience it myself with ELISAs in the lab but I didn't think to apply it to a pregnancy test. Duh duh duh.

The high-dose hook effect is a well-known phenomenon in laboratory medicine, Dr. Gronowski says. It occurs when increasing concentrations of analyte lead to saturation of both the capture antibody and detection antibody, preventing formation of a complete antibody-antigen-antibody sandwich and leading to possibly false-negative results. She co-authored a study focusing on what she calls a “variant hook effect” that affects qualitative urine hCG tests. “The problem is an excess of one form of hCG. Part of the problem is that hCG comes in many different isoforms, and after five weeks of pregnancy, you get much more of one variant form called the β core fragment than you get of the hCG intact molecule. We demonstrated that if you add increasing concentrations of β core fragment to a urine sample that contains intact hCG, there is a dose-dependent inhibition of signal. This is similar to the standard hook effect, except that in many cases the devices don’t recognize β core fragment alone. In other words, the β core fragment only binds one of the two antibodies used in the assay, but it still has the same net effect and causes a false-negative result.”  (Check out the full article here)

And now it makes sense. At a day short of 6 weeks, I bet my β core fragment levels are much higher than my intact HCG. Obviously, I had to test this out by peeing on more sticks. 

And look at that! The solution diluted 50/50 with water has the darkest test line by far. Clearly, it looks like my stick peeing days have come to an end. There's no way I'm diluting cups of pee at 5 in the morning to get a satisfactorily dark line. I think I'm going to have to rely on blood tests and ultrasounds to reassure me from now on, as tough as that's going to be. The next blood test is tomorrow morning but my ultrasound won't be until Friday and after that, who knows. I hope my OB/GYN is open to frequent appointments to soothe my nerves :/