11w5d - The Pukes Have Returned!

Oh man. I haven't had a single incidence of morning sickness for several weeks now. I thought I was in the clear, almost 12 weeks, it should be gone. But no.

Yesterday, E bought me donuts, because he is wonderful. I was rushing this morning to make it to work for a meeting and I swallowed my prenatal vitamin, grabbed an old fashioned and jumped in the car. I was about halfway there, and 95% finished with my donut when I started to get that "feeling". For a few seconds I thought it might pass but when it didn't I decided to pull over and get the ziplock out of my purse just in case. I pulled down a side street that had no parking, so I pulled into the first driveway I could find, reached for the bag in my purse that was allll the way at the bottom, and promptly vomited all over myself before I could get the bag into place.

This was me before the puke. BWHAHAHAHA

It was disgusting. The first one got my shirt, pants and the seat, and then I threw up 6 or 7 more times, thankfully into the bag. I was now halfway to work, late, covered in puke, holding a bag of puke with no paper towels in the car. Ugh. I had wanted to wait until 20 weeks to tell my boss about the baby, but we had a conference call meeting in 20 minutes, she knew I was already on my way, I very clearly needed to go home and change and this is one I couldn't explain away. I shot her a quick text explaining the news and the puke, turned around and went home for new clothes.

Thankfully, she was very pleased for us and had horrible morning sickness with her pregnancy so she had many vomit in the car stories to share. I was able to conference into my meeting from the car on drive to work attempt #2 and everything else went okay.

Late afternoon, I had some tax things to go over with our tax guy and then FINALLY, our OB appointment. I had eaten a grilled cheese for lunch, which is my morning sickness go to food, but it turned on me and I had to throw up again on the way to the OB. Double ugh. This time I was ready and did not have a disastrous mess but I'm pretty disappointed in my stomach.

However, and most importantly, our little bean is OKAY. I've been having major anxiety leading up to this appointment but there they were on the screen, little arms raised up over their face, with their tiny heart beating away. It's such a huge relief to see them alive and well despite all my fears.  They measured exactly on track, 11w5d and looked so much bigger than last time, even though the ultrasound photo kind of sucks. The OB and I talked through our screening options and agreed that we should go ahead and skip CVS since we're not comfortable with the risk. The CA screening panel we did will look at some of the PGS stuff, down syndrome etc, and if we want to later we can get the amnio.

E had to miss this appointment which really sucked, but we're having our nuchal translucency ultrasound next week and he will be able to come to that one. Maybe baby will put their arms down and let us have a peak at their face for that one.

11 Weeks - Progesterone Freak Out

Ugh. I'm having a bit of a freak out over progesterone. As I've mentioned, I had a natural FET with this baby. This means no estrogen priming, so no hyperovulaton to leave behind lots of corpus luteum cysts to produce progesterone.  Just one, naturally ovulated egg. I also skipped progesterone in oil, which is easily measured in the blood stream and greatly increases progesterone levels. For me, it's been just Endometrin suppositories which don’t show up in your labs since it's absorbed directly by the uterus.

My progesterone has been increasing pretty consistently at a "low normal level" as my pregnancy progresses, which the RE has been happy with since the transfer was natural. With PIO, they'd be looking for levels over 20 early on and a big jump when the placenta takes over. As you can see, the biggest bump I've had was 16.6 a couple hours after I'd put my progesterone in.

I am supposed to be weaning off the Endometrin since I'm 11 weeks today but my labs at 10w5d showed my progesterone was only 15.4. I would have thought that my placenta would have taken over and be producing progesterone on it’s own by now, but it’s not making the jump. The RE isn’t super concerned since this is still technically the lowest side of normal and my estrogen is increasing, but I am freaking out. There's all sorts of studies suggesting that "91% of pregnancies with progesterone lower than 15 ng/ml will end in miscarriage" (source) and "Average progesterone in pregnancies that miscarry is 14 ng/ml; in healthy pregnancy: 32 ng/ml" (source). I'm terrified that my levels are low enough to endanger our otherwise perfectly healthy baby.

I know some women just have lower progesterone but I don’t feel ready to stop the Endometrin without a real increase.  I only have 1 day of Endometrin left and I just don't feel good about stopping. 

Pregnancy Symptom Round Up

I used to watch those "I didn't know I was pregnant" shows and think okay, I guess it could happen. Maybe she was a little chubby to begin with, had irregular periods, thought she had the flu, there's a lot of excuses. But now, I think I have to call bullshit.

I have had so much funky stuff going on in just the first trimester that I'd have to be living under a rock to not suspect something. I haven't even felt the baby move yet

4 - 6 weeks - crazy sore boobs, pokey nipples, lots heartburn, twinges and cramps, bloating, peeing all the time, hungry

7 - 9 weeks - all day morning sickness, sore boobs, nipples still pokey, occasional round ligament pain, major bloating, peeing all the time, sick if I don't eat frequently

10 - 11 weeks - heartburn is back with a vengeance, nausea thankfully ebbing, sore boobs, round ligament pain, still bloated, still peeing all the time, stomach and organs squashed, sick if I don't eat frequently

Now that the nausea is mostly gone, the heartburn is probably the most noticeable symptom because I have it all day long. Eating, not eating, standing, sitting, it's pretty constant. My acupuncturist and midwife S said in addition to the bloating, my middle is already so large because my organs are being pretty well squished upwards by my uterus so I'm sure that doesn't help either. I'm probably going to bring it up at my next appointment

I've also had some weird cravings for things I don't normally eat. It was meat the first few weeks, but after that it's been chocolate covered almonds, pomegranate juice,  salty chips and most recently cheetos which I don't think I've eaten in the past decade. I also briefly wanted something sweet like a donut, though that craving passed pretty quickly, and I've wanted nothing to do with my favorite vegetables. I couldn't even bring myself to eat my favorite veggie pizza, I took one bite and it was so unappealing I had to put it down. Why doesn't baby want nice, healthy foods full of vitamins? What nutritional value could there possibly be in crunchy cheetos? 

10 Weeks - Bumpin'

I know some women get through early pregnancy without showing, but apparently I am not one of them. I don't know how much of it is Endometrin bloating, or normal pregnancy bloating, all my organs being squished upwards, or just my body being thrilled to finally be pregnant. Either way, my belly has just exploded.

Bam! Baby Bump :)

Granted, I was pretty bloated from the Endometrin before the transfer, and as you can also see, I've put on some major poundage since starting the whole infertility process. But I can't suck this in and I'm pretty sure that bloating is supposed to change day by day and morning to evening, mine doesn't go down, just consistently gets bigger. This baby clearly doesn't want to stay incognito.

Our plan was to wait until after the anatomy scan to begin announcing our pregnancy but with my belly this big at only 10 weeks, who knows what I'll look like at 20 weeks. E is convinced I'm going to be the size of a house and I think he might be right. I don't mind being big already, I love having visual proof that baby is doing what they're supposed to in there, but it is making for some awkward looks from people. Everyone has been too polite to ask anything outright but this little bean is pretty noticable.

As far as the rest of pregnancy is going, my nausea is letting up a bit for which I am so, so grateful. I haven't thrown up in a week now and the constant queasy feeling is ebbing. Unfortunately, in it's place, the heartburn is coming back with a vengeance so tums are my permanent best friend.

Our next opportunity to check in on bean isn't until just before 12 weeks, so in the meantime I'm trying to remind myself that everything is okay, my belly is clearly growing so bean must be growing, even if I can't see them on ultrasound every week.

7 weeks 2 days - Second Ultrasound

Eeeee, this weeks ultrasound actually resembles a tiny person! I think I can even see the hint of a face there,  little bean is looking at us with their face turned slightly towards our right. Their heart was fluttering away, I think the tech said 148bpm, but it's still too early to hear it out loud. If we're lucky, we should be able to hear it next week at our first Kaiser ultrasound.

Everything is looking really good thus far but I do have a tiny SCH to the right of the baby. Both the doctor and tech said it's really small and not anything to worry about, they're super common with IVF and I haven't had any spotting or bleeding. I'm already taking things really easy since I'm nauseous all day long and not up for anything, but they told me to take it even easier if possible.

As far as symptoms go, thus far the biggest challenge has probably been the morning sickness. I'm still having difficulty keeping down my Estrace, prenatal, aspirin and probiotic in the morning but Dr. D isn't overly concerned because my body seems to be making a good amount of estrogen on its own. Every time I find myself hugging the toilet, my first thought is always that I'm so grateful to be pregnant. It's a totally weird paradox to feel so miserable and grateful at the same time, I may be puking up this slice of toast/banana/random bland food but it's because little bean is doing everything right and growing strong.

Along with the morning sickness I've got the ever present crazy sore boobs and extreme bloating. My belly is so large that I can't hide it in regular clothing, for only being 7 weeks it sure looks a lot more like 7 months! It has me wondering whether the bloating will go down before the baby starts to legitimately bump or if there will just be a seamless transition between bloaty belly and baby belly. I don't mind either way, it's just leading to some awkward looks from people thankfully too polite to say anything about my massive tum. I'm not sure how long I can pass our little bean off as tacos lol.