Could we be screwed?

So I've been pretty quiet lately on the blog and I figured it was time for some explaining.  Essentially, I've had a weird little cluster of symptoms that have me and E worrying very seriously if we might be "in the family way". I present the evidence thusly for your scrutiny.

April 2011: Very, very light period. Like half a period really. Not sure if that means anything.

May 2011: So tired, sore breasts, back pain, have to pee all the time, heartburn, bloating, hungry and now....MY PERIOD IS LATE.

WTF WHERE DID THIS BELLY COME FROM?????

The kicker here? E and I have never done the deed unprotected. As in ever. As in no glove, no love for you Dr. Jones, WTF really? Condoms are 98% effective, so 2 out of every 100 ladies will become pregnant using them every year. Could we really be that (un?)lucky?  We're literally the most anal people on the planet when it comes to pregnancy protection and it would be pretty damn near impossible for us to be pregnant now. Not to mention, how much would it suck to get pregnant without actually having fun baby making sex??

To make things more confusing, most of the symptoms I described above can easily be attributed to menstruation. So essentially, I could be pregnant or my period could just be really late. Though if I'm being honest, you could practically set your watch by my period, except that would be gross.

Getting serious, E and I are no where financially stable enough to have a child. Everyone and their mom knows how badly we want a baby, but everyone also knows how irresponsible it would be. We live with my mom. I'm trying to get into grad school. E is just getting his career off the ground. We just got married less than 2 months ago. While we're emotionally ready, none of the other cards line up. I'd like to have my baby with a couple hundred thousand dollars in the bank, a nice 6 figure job, and our own house with a nursery I can decorate. Having a baby now would check approximately zero of those boxes.

If we are pregnant I'm not sure what we'd do. Maybe my family would be supportive?

(Source)

HAHA NOT. My aunt actually took out a $10,000.00 bet with my grandma AGAINST me that E and I would get pregnant during the first year. I would really really hate to let my grandma down (especially since we weren't irresponsible ARGH) and my family would not be supportive. At all, essentially.

I think tomorrow E and I are going to get some pregnancy tests and get our pee on. We're either pregnant, or I've just shared waaaaaaay too much information about my period and our sex life on the internet. Whoops.