The Familymoon is Over

After the wedding, everyone settled into life in our multi-generational home as if nothing had happened. We had a few more boxes and lovely gifts taking up some extra space but aside from that everything was status quo.

Goofy photo from our wedding to break up the tension. I'm too lazy to email our awesome
 photographers, Ohana photographers, for the high quality versions right now.

However, now that we've been married for almost two months, I'm beginning to think that we really need our space. On the superficial side, we desperately want our own physical space to spread out our stuff and create a home together. They never mentioned a nesting instinct in all the marriage articles I've read but damn do I desperately want to create a little nest for us.  I hate having all our stuff in storage and we have no room to hang our ketubah or fingerprint tree and no room to put up prints from our wedding.

S: OMG We're married!
E: I know!! Yay!
S: OMG presents!
E: OMG Yes!
S: What do we do with it all????
E: ..................

On a more personal note, my family has moved from passive aggressive about my schooling choices (or lack there of) to downright hostile and I feel like I have no relationship with my mom anymore. She's no longer the mom I always got along with and rarely disagreed with in my 24 years. She's somehow become the pushy roommate, who badgers me on a daily basis about school, invades my personal space without knocking or guilt and who has no respect for our boundaries as a couple or as human beings. She comes into our room, the one space that's supposed to be ours, without knocking, sometimes while we're still asleep.  She throws things out, moves things, and complains about the clutter filling our tiny quarters. We no longer spend time together aside from passing in the hall and most conversations contain barely veiled hostility. It's quite unpleasant and is really stressful.

Goofy photo number two because this is getting depressing. I love weird socks <3

I can't even begin to describe how our conversations go.

M: What are you doing with your life
S: I haven't decided which grad program I want to apply to yet
M: blablahyou'reworthlessifyourenotadoctorblahblah
M: You'd better not get pregnant
M: You'd owe your grandma 10 grand
M: I'd kill you
S: Thanks

In addition, this pregnancy scare has really changed how I view our situation. While E and I do not want a babe now, I'd like to think that if we ended up expecting one my family would be supportive. If you've been reading my blog, now is probably where you'd point out how stupid that assumption is. My family has a friggin' 10 thousand dollar bet on whether we'll get pregnant this year and that should have been enough to warn us just how unsupportive they'd be. Still, I didn't expect this level of unsupportiveness, I feel like they see us as one of the screwed up teenage couples on "16 and Pregnant" instead of the mid twenties married couple that we are.

I also feel like we're constantly cleaning up after everyone. My sister left for a vacation this Thursday. She left the hose on in the backyard drowning the vegetables. I didn't find out till it flooded the driveway. The cat that's supposed to be hers was left with no food and no water, he clued me in when he came into my room crying and looking for Button's food. My mom left bad food on the counter and a thick layer of crumbs on the cutting board, her dirty bowls in the sink for someone else to clean up. Bleh. I feel like a stay at home mom in someone else's house with no babe and no space.  I also think I'm watching too much daytime TV in between schoolwork since I have an irrational fear that I'm gonna end up like one of those ladies who has her baby in a toilet on "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant".

Some sweetness to wash away the bitter

Bottom line, cold hard truth style, this is where we need to be. We need to save up as much as we can right now so even though it's painfully obvious we need out, it's more important that we stay. The truth hurts but we can't avoid it.