Spots, Ahoy!

Well we're now six days late, but we have spots!!! Not enough spots that I would call it a period, but enough that I know I'm not imagining it lol. We also got our bulk order of $0.19 pregnancy tests today so E and I took 4 of them this morning and are 99% sure they were all negative, though there was some speculation about the one E took! haha. We do have one interesting symptom to add though, even more spots! but this time they're moles.

It's hard to take a picture of your back

Out of nowhere, I had six new moles grow overnight. My back has been killing me so E has been giving me massages every night and one day my back was clear, the next there were two little moles on my lower back. Further scrutiny shows new moles on my chest and legs that weren't there the day before. This makes me nervous since I haven't had a new mole in years and my mom grew tons of moles when she was pregnant with me, BUT hormone changes in general can cause skin changes like mole growth and I think I can safely say that something weird and hormonal is going on, probably just not pregnancy.

Sperm free zone

My doctor's nurse got back to me and told me they generally don't worry unless you've missed your period for three months in a row. That seems like an awfully long time but since I'm also due for an annual I think I'll just go in for that. I still feel pretty crappy and there's definitely something up.

AHHHHHHH

Still not here...

No word from the doctor yet!

I'm pretty sure that if I ever get my period E and I will never have sex again. I think we're both prepared to live with E as my gay roommate until we have our own place and tons of money saved up.

(Source)

Watch, now that I've said that, we definitely won't be preggers and it'll probably be because I've stressed myself into not ovulating anymore. We'll probably have tons of trouble conceiving when we want to and will be yearning for the fertile days of our youth. Le sigh. 

P.S. According to my mom, that tiger will eat you even if you are using condoms. DUN DUN DUN! 

NOT PREGNANT but still no period??

So the hubs and I got a digital pregnancy test and took it this morning. The results? Not Pregnant. Before I took the test I asked him percentage wise if he thought we were really preggers. He said about 22% of him thought that we might be, and 11% of that wanted it to be positive. Once we'd taken the test though, we were pretty much 98% (Ha!) relieved so it's clear that a babe right now isn't a good idea.  However, despite the big fat negative, there's still no sign of my period!

Bwahahaha

Now for more TMI. If I'm on track, I should have started spotting six days ago though my period is technically only four official days late. WTF body? What have you done with my period?  Where are you stashing it?  I just sent my OB/GYN an email and we'll see what she says and if she wants me to come in. 

Logically, there could be many reasons why my period is MIA. It could be left over wonkiness from going off my pills last year. It could be stress from planning the wedding or picking a grad school to apply to. It could (maybe?) be the post-wedding weight I've packed on. I just hope its not something sinister because I'd take a sweet babe over uterine/cervical/breast cancer any day. 

Since my family has a history of some cancers, I caved and asked my mom if she'd ever been late. She said she was wonky for two or three years after birth control which made me feel a little better (it could be nothing!) but she also said it took her like 2 months to get a positive pregnancy test with me. This was probably due to the general lack of hCG sensitivity in the late 80's pregnancy tests rather than freakishly low hCG levels so I'm not too concerned about that. She did, in true mom fashion, slip in a nasty comment about how I'd owe my grandma 10 grand if we screwed up. Thanks, mom. You really know just what to say!

Given my family, we could probably assume it's just stress -_-

Could we be screwed?

So I've been pretty quiet lately on the blog and I figured it was time for some explaining.  Essentially, I've had a weird little cluster of symptoms that have me and E worrying very seriously if we might be "in the family way". I present the evidence thusly for your scrutiny.

April 2011: Very, very light period. Like half a period really. Not sure if that means anything.

May 2011: So tired, sore breasts, back pain, have to pee all the time, heartburn, bloating, hungry and now....MY PERIOD IS LATE.

WTF WHERE DID THIS BELLY COME FROM?????

The kicker here? E and I have never done the deed unprotected. As in ever. As in no glove, no love for you Dr. Jones, WTF really? Condoms are 98% effective, so 2 out of every 100 ladies will become pregnant using them every year. Could we really be that (un?)lucky?  We're literally the most anal people on the planet when it comes to pregnancy protection and it would be pretty damn near impossible for us to be pregnant now. Not to mention, how much would it suck to get pregnant without actually having fun baby making sex??

To make things more confusing, most of the symptoms I described above can easily be attributed to menstruation. So essentially, I could be pregnant or my period could just be really late. Though if I'm being honest, you could practically set your watch by my period, except that would be gross.

Getting serious, E and I are no where financially stable enough to have a child. Everyone and their mom knows how badly we want a baby, but everyone also knows how irresponsible it would be. We live with my mom. I'm trying to get into grad school. E is just getting his career off the ground. We just got married less than 2 months ago. While we're emotionally ready, none of the other cards line up. I'd like to have my baby with a couple hundred thousand dollars in the bank, a nice 6 figure job, and our own house with a nursery I can decorate. Having a baby now would check approximately zero of those boxes.

If we are pregnant I'm not sure what we'd do. Maybe my family would be supportive?

(Source)

HAHA NOT. My aunt actually took out a $10,000.00 bet with my grandma AGAINST me that E and I would get pregnant during the first year. I would really really hate to let my grandma down (especially since we weren't irresponsible ARGH) and my family would not be supportive. At all, essentially.

I think tomorrow E and I are going to get some pregnancy tests and get our pee on. We're either pregnant, or I've just shared waaaaaaay too much information about my period and our sex life on the internet. Whoops.