MCAT Score Release - A new form of torture?

MCAT Pain

So tomorrow I should be getting my MCAT score. While the wait has been absolutely torturous, none of it has been quite so bad as the day before. I have that sinking feeling in my stomach that says "YOU BOMBED" and more often than not my stupid intuition is usually right. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised if I bombed, I'm generally a two test person who has to bomb a test to do well on it the second time but I was really hoping the MCAT would be different. The same thing happened with my SAT exam, I took it once and sucked and took it again and did well. I think more of it has to do with test anxiety than whether I actually know the material or not. The act of sitting in front of the computer to take the test empties my brain of it's previous knowledge and leaves me stumbling over even the simplest questions. I was hoping that practice exams would prevent the brain dump but I don't think they did. If I ever get through this and make it to medical school I should bookmark this post to look at when I bomb my USMILE for the first time.

I was really hoping for a 30 when I took the test but now I'm feeling like I got closer to a 20. Or a 2, depending on what mood I'm in. I don't think this round is going to be good enough to get me an acceptance but we'll know for sure tomorrow. The big question is, if I got a 2o do I even bother applying to DO schools? I don't want to go out of the country but I don't think even a DO school would take a 20 on the MCAT. Is it good experience to go through the application process or just a colossal waste of money? There are so many things to consider, especially the year long gap between application acceptances. What happens with the housing situation? Do we stay and bank 1500 a month to put toward a down payment, or do we move out and say screw the money to have some privacy? My honey's job is very unstable and unpredictable though, we often don't know how much work to expect from him month to month so I'm not sure it would be safe to move out. What would you do?

Okay. I got my score. No, I'm not telling. Yes, I need to take it again. Am I surprised? No. I blame it on standardized test freak out. Damn. Now I need to sign up for it again.

It's Over

It's happened. I've taken the MCAT. It's over. Thursday I checked out the testing center and it was teeny tiny, one little office in a huge complex of offices. It had only three rooms, each with less than 20 computers in them. They told me I needed to be there when the doors opened at 6:30am so I could register first and not wait in line for an hour and a half.

This morning, I arrived at the testing center at 6:30am to check in for the test. I even wore my lucky pink penguin shoes and rainbow socks. There was no one else there, the parking lot was pretty much empty, the doors were locked. I was able to bang on the door a few times and managed to get them to give me the bathroom key, and they eventually opened the doors at 6:45am. Obviously I ended up being first on the list, given the lack of competition, and then my honey and I went to breakfast at Jerry's Deli. The only thing I could stomach was soup, so I had soup for breakfast and then headed back to the test center.

The test lasted from about 8am to 12:45pm. The fingerprint scanner I had to use to get in and out of the room was insanely picky and kept telling me I didn't have a finger print. The physical science section kicked my ass, but the verbal, biological and writing sections weren't too bad. I wasn't feeling awful about anything but the physical science section until I exited the test and found people talking about how they'd chosen to void their scores. Voiding your score is sort of a last resort, if you screw up your test and decide to forfeit your time, 300 dollars and all your effort. I can't imagine voiding my score after all that effort, but if I get a 15 I'll know I've made the wrong choice.

I'll know in a month...

Holy asdfghj Sh*t

I just realized my MCAT exam is in 18 days. 18 DAYS! AHHHHH!!!!! How on earth did I let it sneak up on me like this? Epic fail self. I am going to fail that test SO HARD it's not even funny. I will literally be paying $250.00 and sitting at a computer for 6 million hours so that I can FAIL MY MCAT. I have not taken a single full length practice exam. I had to call, call again, and have my tutor call to get access and then download yet another browser because firefox and safari and chrome? Not supported.

Formulas = not memorized.

Facts = eluding my brain.

Practice tests = ha.

Time = run out.

Me = ended.

For the next two weeks I will be waking up at 6am, studying, dying inside, studying some more, and then sleeping. I would literally kill for anything resembling a 30. MCAT gods, wherever you are, have mercy.