IUI #2 Failed: BFN

Well as we expected, the blood test was negative. Not pregnant, again. I still can't believe that not one of the 148 million sperm could find one of the seven eggs waiting for them. That's some seriously rotten luck.

So now we need to decide what to do. Prepare for IVF? Keep doing IUI? I don't know what the right choice is. In theory I should start another cycle so I can continue the back to back cycle boost. I'm leaning towards starting the PGD process while doing another IUI, hope for the best but prepare for the worst. I just emailed Dr. K so we'll see what she says.

Too True

Maybe the third try will be our lucky cycle. We're still under the national average of 4 IUI attempts per pregnancy. It's pretty hard to keep a positive outlook in the face of all these negatives, but the pain of not trying and having no chance is much worse than the pain of trying and failing.

TWW: BFN Or Too Early?

At 6:30 this morning I woke up and had to pee so bad that I couldn't go back to sleep. I had a silent internal debate with myself - should I test with a 6 hour hold? Did it count as FMU if I intended to sleep another 6 hours? I finally sucked it up, went pee, and took the test.

At first glance I saw the control line come up and a stark white test area. Negative. I put it away and decided to go back to sleep where I felt miserable and tried to convince myself it's still too early. Once I finally fell back asleep, I dreamt that I woke up, looked again and the test was positive. No such luck in real life. I woke up, E and I checked it, and it's still as negative as ever. 

There are now two possibilities:

1. I'm not pregnant. Fuck. 

2. I didn't ovulate on the day of the IUI so it's actually earlier than 11 DPO and too soon to test. 

Either way, that negative feels just a shitty as I anticipated. How could 148 million sperm and 7 eggs fail to meet up? If this really is a negative, I need to call our clinic and start asking questions about the experience of their embryologist and how often they do PGD cycles. I really don't think I can justify another IUI cycle at $4,000 per cycle but I also don't want to waste any time. Maybe we should start building the probe now and try one or two more IUI cycles while they build it, just in case. 

IUI #1 Failed: BFN

I went in for my beta today and to no one's surprise, it was negative. I was expecting it after the negative urine test yesterday but it still hurt. If it had been positive, the baby would have been due on my birthday. At least I get to stop the wretched progesterone.

Boo :(

Once the progesterone is stopped, my period should be along shortly. Then we start the cycle all over again, labs and another baseline ultrasound. Hopefully that tiny cyst should be gone. I expect birth control should follow, for at least 10 days, and then back on the Menopur I go. My wallet is already crying.

I also woke up to Cillian accidentally scratching the crap out of my face. So much for positive thinking.

Thanks Cilly