Out of control

I think the most difficult part of the infertility process for me has been the loss of control. I'm one of those people who really doesn't like to be out of control and unfortunately, infertility is something I have absolutely no control over right now. Tomorrow is our first consultation with an infertility specialist where I'll have an AFC done, a ultrasound to count my resting follicles, and we'll be going over IVF and any other options. This whole process has been weighing on my mind, I even dreampt about it last night. The doctor was doing my ultrasound and telling me that actually my eggs were just fine and if we could simply make E's swimmers swim, we could do IUI instead. I'm not sure if I should be holding out hope for that, but I've got my fingers crossed.

If it were only the infertility, I would probably be able to handle it just fine, but instead we seem to have walked into a shit storm of problems. Over the weekend, my best friend J's mother had a stroke. She is like my other mother and it's really hard to see her so out of control too. The doctors originally said she'd be back to normal within a day or so, but now it looks like she will need a little more time to recover. A stroke, even a small one, is a big deal and should serve as a big warning to her that it might be time to slow down and take some time for herself.

Then, to add to the general stress, this morning I woke up with ringworm. That's right, I said RINGWORM. Weeks ago I brought Button to the vet because she wasn't feeling well. They ran some blood work and had to shave her chin to get access to a vein. A weekish later she had some fur loss and dry flaky skin on the back of her neck and chin so I called and asked if it could be something like ringworm. Our vet reassured us that it was just stress, which was easy to believe because she stressed herself out so much that she gave herself a fever, and directed me to put some neosporin on it. As it turns out, the clippers they used to shave her chin weren't completely sterile and she brought home ringworm along with a prescription for a new diet. Joy.

I for sure have ringworm where Button lays in my lap, and I may have some on my thigh as well. It's making me feel really gross and I was freaking out about the doctor tomorrow thinking I'm diseased until I realized that I could just put a band aid on it. I think it might be time for me to slow down and take a breath too -_-