11w5d - The Pukes Have Returned!

Oh man. I haven't had a single incidence of morning sickness for several weeks now. I thought I was in the clear, almost 12 weeks, it should be gone. But no.

Yesterday, E bought me donuts, because he is wonderful. I was rushing this morning to make it to work for a meeting and I swallowed my prenatal vitamin, grabbed an old fashioned and jumped in the car. I was about halfway there, and 95% finished with my donut when I started to get that "feeling". For a few seconds I thought it might pass but when it didn't I decided to pull over and get the ziplock out of my purse just in case. I pulled down a side street that had no parking, so I pulled into the first driveway I could find, reached for the bag in my purse that was allll the way at the bottom, and promptly vomited all over myself before I could get the bag into place.

This was me before the puke. BWHAHAHAHA

It was disgusting. The first one got my shirt, pants and the seat, and then I threw up 6 or 7 more times, thankfully into the bag. I was now halfway to work, late, covered in puke, holding a bag of puke with no paper towels in the car. Ugh. I had wanted to wait until 20 weeks to tell my boss about the baby, but we had a conference call meeting in 20 minutes, she knew I was already on my way, I very clearly needed to go home and change and this is one I couldn't explain away. I shot her a quick text explaining the news and the puke, turned around and went home for new clothes.

Thankfully, she was very pleased for us and had horrible morning sickness with her pregnancy so she had many vomit in the car stories to share. I was able to conference into my meeting from the car on drive to work attempt #2 and everything else went okay.

Late afternoon, I had some tax things to go over with our tax guy and then FINALLY, our OB appointment. I had eaten a grilled cheese for lunch, which is my morning sickness go to food, but it turned on me and I had to throw up again on the way to the OB. Double ugh. This time I was ready and did not have a disastrous mess but I'm pretty disappointed in my stomach.

However, and most importantly, our little bean is OKAY. I've been having major anxiety leading up to this appointment but there they were on the screen, little arms raised up over their face, with their tiny heart beating away. It's such a huge relief to see them alive and well despite all my fears.  They measured exactly on track, 11w5d and looked so much bigger than last time, even though the ultrasound photo kind of sucks. The OB and I talked through our screening options and agreed that we should go ahead and skip CVS since we're not comfortable with the risk. The CA screening panel we did will look at some of the PGS stuff, down syndrome etc, and if we want to later we can get the amnio.

E had to miss this appointment which really sucked, but we're having our nuchal translucency ultrasound next week and he will be able to come to that one. Maybe baby will put their arms down and let us have a peak at their face for that one.

Pregnancy Symptom Round Up

I used to watch those "I didn't know I was pregnant" shows and think okay, I guess it could happen. Maybe she was a little chubby to begin with, had irregular periods, thought she had the flu, there's a lot of excuses. But now, I think I have to call bullshit.

I have had so much funky stuff going on in just the first trimester that I'd have to be living under a rock to not suspect something. I haven't even felt the baby move yet

4 - 6 weeks - crazy sore boobs, pokey nipples, lots heartburn, twinges and cramps, bloating, peeing all the time, hungry

7 - 9 weeks - all day morning sickness, sore boobs, nipples still pokey, occasional round ligament pain, major bloating, peeing all the time, sick if I don't eat frequently

10 - 11 weeks - heartburn is back with a vengeance, nausea thankfully ebbing, sore boobs, round ligament pain, still bloated, still peeing all the time, stomach and organs squashed, sick if I don't eat frequently

Now that the nausea is mostly gone, the heartburn is probably the most noticeable symptom because I have it all day long. Eating, not eating, standing, sitting, it's pretty constant. My acupuncturist and midwife S said in addition to the bloating, my middle is already so large because my organs are being pretty well squished upwards by my uterus so I'm sure that doesn't help either. I'm probably going to bring it up at my next appointment

I've also had some weird cravings for things I don't normally eat. It was meat the first few weeks, but after that it's been chocolate covered almonds, pomegranate juice,  salty chips and most recently cheetos which I don't think I've eaten in the past decade. I also briefly wanted something sweet like a donut, though that craving passed pretty quickly, and I've wanted nothing to do with my favorite vegetables. I couldn't even bring myself to eat my favorite veggie pizza, I took one bite and it was so unappealing I had to put it down. Why doesn't baby want nice, healthy foods full of vitamins? What nutritional value could there possibly be in crunchy cheetos? 

7 weeks 2 days - Second Ultrasound

Eeeee, this weeks ultrasound actually resembles a tiny person! I think I can even see the hint of a face there,  little bean is looking at us with their face turned slightly towards our right. Their heart was fluttering away, I think the tech said 148bpm, but it's still too early to hear it out loud. If we're lucky, we should be able to hear it next week at our first Kaiser ultrasound.

Everything is looking really good thus far but I do have a tiny SCH to the right of the baby. Both the doctor and tech said it's really small and not anything to worry about, they're super common with IVF and I haven't had any spotting or bleeding. I'm already taking things really easy since I'm nauseous all day long and not up for anything, but they told me to take it even easier if possible.

As far as symptoms go, thus far the biggest challenge has probably been the morning sickness. I'm still having difficulty keeping down my Estrace, prenatal, aspirin and probiotic in the morning but Dr. D isn't overly concerned because my body seems to be making a good amount of estrogen on its own. Every time I find myself hugging the toilet, my first thought is always that I'm so grateful to be pregnant. It's a totally weird paradox to feel so miserable and grateful at the same time, I may be puking up this slice of toast/banana/random bland food but it's because little bean is doing everything right and growing strong.

Along with the morning sickness I've got the ever present crazy sore boobs and extreme bloating. My belly is so large that I can't hide it in regular clothing, for only being 7 weeks it sure looks a lot more like 7 months! It has me wondering whether the bloating will go down before the baby starts to legitimately bump or if there will just be a seamless transition between bloaty belly and baby belly. I don't mind either way, it's just leading to some awkward looks from people thankfully too polite to say anything about my massive tum. I'm not sure how long I can pass our little bean off as tacos lol.

Day 3: Growth Report

We got our growth report this morning and our embryos are still dividing! We have 4 that look really good with nice, even cell division and 2 that look good but are growing a touch slower. We also have 1 that fertilized but is pretty far behind the others with only 2 cells so we're not sure if that little guy can catch up. E is calling it our runt, Wilbur, but I don't think there's any chance of him catching up.

Original Photo came from here

I talked to Dr. D about our next cycle and he thinks we're on track to start in about 6 weeks. I didn't get to really clarify what that means since I later realized it could mean taking a month off or not taking a month off. If I get my period in about 2 weeks, then go on birth control for about 2 weeks, then stim for about 2 weeks, that's 6 weeks right there. I was asking if we'd take 6 weeks off doing nothing before starting the next cycle but I don't think I got that across. I'll have to bring it up again another time.

I also asked about the crazy bloating which he said is probably from the HCG as well as the estrogen. He said I should expect it to stick around in my system for at least 10 days so I don't see this belly going down anytime soon. I have no illusions about the physical side effects of infertility and the IVF process but it would be nice if I could save some growth for a baby.

As far as recovery goes, I'm feeling a bit crappier today than yesterday. I'm still only mildly sore but I have a weird nauseous/imminent cold feeling that probably wasn't helped by the fact that I woke up every 2 hours to pee and didn't get great sleep. I'm not sure where I could have picked up a cold since I've been taking it pretty easy and not going anywhere but I can definitely feel it hovering at the edges of my throat. Hopefully it's just the hormones because I can not get sick right before our next cycle.

Ouchie

Today was another tough day physically, I don't know if it's the Menopur or the acupuncture herbs/diet but I've just felt rotten. Stomach ache, nauseous, bloated, tired, sore back, the whole rotten spectrum and the stomach ache/abdominal pain is definitely the worst. I suspect it's probably a combination of both which makes it nearly impossible to get rid of since I can't stop taking the Menopur or the herbs. I've tried eating bread, taking advil, eating more bread, curling up in a ball, drinking tons of water and I finally capped it off with some soup which seemed to help the most. I'll try eating a more normal meal for dinner and see if I can banish whatever this is for good.

I will probably mention it to Nurse C tomorrow morning just in case it might be mild OHSS, but I doubt it very much. OHSS usually comes with loads of eggs, 20 not 5 teensy ones, and I haven't taken the trigger shot this cycle so I don't have any HCG in my system. My ovaries also don't seem to hurt, probably the only part of my stomach that doesn't, and they looked perfectly normal sized at my last appointment. It's probably the shit ton of Menopur I've started injecting over old needle marks -_-

Despite feeling like shit, I'm still really looking forward to my appointment tomorrow. I've got everything crossed that those 5 little follicles are growing into 5 bigger follicles that will become mature eggs. I'm just not sure how much growth I should expect since we suppressed egg development with birth control first. Is this going to be a long and slow cycle? Today is day 6 of stimms, how much longer will I need to go? Once I inject my 4 vials tonight, I will have 22 left, or 2.5ish days. That's enough for tomorrow (Wednesday), Thursday and Friday morning, bringing me to 8 and a half days of injections. I'm ready to buy another 20 if need be, but I hope we won't need much more than that.